I am the "et al"

I cannot tell a lie. I have cooked up great and grand stories* while writing exams in school and college- what is colloquially known as "fatta maroing" or "pheko-ing". Now that the truth is out, let me tell you about my favourite such incident, etched in my memory. And as I look back upon it, I cant help but smile with something akin to pride and of course, the fact that it is quite hilarious.

At the outset, I must state that I find it absolutely senseless to base one's judgment about a student's knowledge about a concept or theory, on how many studies by other people he or she can quote. This requirement of supporting theories with examples in the form of "studies" done by others is ridiculous. If examples are needed, they ought to be from lived lives...non?

Anyway, what do you do when your principles get in the way of your memorising by rote, who did what in what year and found out what? You fib. Yeah yeah, it is another word for lie. Moving along....

I had given some gyaan (knowledge/ideas/thoughts) about some cultural differences between the east and the west. Of course, the idea was quite sound, since it was based on observations even a ten year old can make. But I needed a name to go with the example. The clock was ticking, and I had already used up all my distraction time (I tend to get distracted during examinations and like to look around, wander about in my mind etc. before coming back to the paper in front of me).

A few words make all the difference I tell you! All I had to do was add- "__________ et al in the year ______ found that" before stating the obvious.

People who have done this type of thing would know how important it is to have the right sounding name. At least if you don't want it to seem like you've spun a tale. For instance, one cant quote a study comparing family patterns in urban and rural Bengal and call the researcher Ms. Amila Petrovskiva or some such thing.

Another aspect to be cautious about: the name can't be too simple. I personally prefer a "Whitellman" to a "Smith".

Now I had envisioned a Japanese researcher for my study. Don't know why. I guess for me east meant far east, since I am in what people in the west would regard as east as it is. I didn't know any Japanese names that came to mind easily. Except one.

"Matsumoto"

If it sounds familiar to you, (and you are not Japanese and don't have Japanese people in your life) then it would probably take you back to a magnificent film- Kill Bill Vol. 1.

In the film, "Boss" Matsumoto is the name of the Yakuzo Boss (a Don type of the Japanese underworld) who kills Lucy Liu's parents! I am a huge Tarantino fan, and have seen Kill Bill about 13 times so its hardly surprising that the name cropped up in a flash.

So the study I quoted was carried out by some researcher who incidentally had the same name as a violent pedophile from a famous movie.

My answer read- "Matsumoto et al in the year 19__ found that......."

Very authentic sounding is it not?

Of course, I was counting on the fact that my professor didn't quite seem the Kill Bill kind.

And, I was nice enough to give myself credit for the study as well. Who did you think I meant when I said "et al"?

* Thinking of how much effort it must have been to have cooked up everything from the name of the researcher, to method, findings and year, a friend of TQ thought I was quite a persevering liar. I took that as a compliment. Being a persevering anything is commendable in its own right!

Co-existence

Morning scene outside a temple in Orchha, India.

The music from the indigenous instrument the sadhus were playing was melodiously drifting across the space- along with the sounds of prayer and the pleas of women begging for alms, the 'restaurant' owner's calls to tempt the devotees into buying the tasty treats on offer, the chatter of the children, and the bells and mantras being chanted inside the temple.

The flowers add colour and beauty.

The dog dozing in the middle of it all adds calmness to the chaos.


I liked being there in that moment.

For Arundhati

Finally, your suffering comes to an end.

To the government and forest officials- your delay in the implementation of an order caused an animal to suffer deeply.

To animal rights activists- the only thing you have, to free yourself of guilt and responsibility, is the thought that perhaps the delay had nothing to do with your demonstrations.

But one must be sure about the ideals and values one is fighting for.

So you must introspect a little, and ask yourself whether in your heart you really believe that camping next to her while she lay in pain, eased her suffering more than the act of mercy you were protesting against would have.

What dreams may come!

Without going into the interpretations etc and the details of the elaborate story I dreamt last night, allow me to share a particularly interesting dream image.

There are round tables everywhere, like at a reception dinner. I walk across the room and see George Bush sitting at one of the tables. Walking past his table, I deliberately ignore him. But just as I cross him, he leaps out of his chair and thrusts out his hand with that irritating impish grin of his and says "Hello, how are you?" I do a mental 'uh' and manage to stretch my hand towards a lifeless handshake. And I suddenly feel very bad for him. The thought in my head- "You poor thing. Not many people like you and here you are trying your best to be all amicable and enthusiastic"

What all this means? It's for me to know and you to never find out.

Funny though...non?