Will the vulgarity never end?

It's getting out of hand I tell you! Even if I come to terms with the insane amount of affection and love being showered on Dhoni & Co. these days, I will never be at peace with the benefits they are getting (monetary and non monetary) because of this T-20 win. It is just vulgar if you ask me. Everyone has lost their marbles and are in such a frenzy to give that they can't stop- Like going downhill in a car, and not being able to hit the brakes. Apart from the hikes in their contracts, each player seems to be getting rewarded amounts ranging from Rs. 3 Lakh - 21 Lakh by their respective State governments* (!!!) And, what's with the free air travel for five years??? I know a hundred people who are more deserving of that but cannot afford it! (Of course, I am including myself as well. It's called "Beheti Ganga mein haath dhona" - If the holy water is flowing anyway, I may as well dip my hands into it)

Now celebrity-hood is something in which irony reveals itself rather splendidly. Once you have enough money to pay for a few luxuries, you get those luxuries free of charge! I am against this on principle. It just isn't fair at all. And makes no sense.

Now I know and you know that the government can definitely make better use of all this money. I applaud the Supreme Court for its recent comment directed towards the government when the former noted a decline of 30% in the centralisation of elementary education for kids over the years, while considering the finances required to make adjustments to make room demanded by the reservation law - "What is more important? Elementary education for children or quota system?"

*This is hilarious. Robin Utthappa is getting 5 Lakh from Karnataka Government, and 3 Lakh from Kerala government because ....his mother was born in Kozhikode!!! Why don't we just trace the entire lineage and find several other states that apparently have all this money to spare? Surely grandparents are also important aren't they?

"Love me or hate me, but please don't ignore me!"

I offer my support to the coach and players of the Indian Hockey team -which, FYI, creamed Korea in the finals of the Asia Cup 7-2- in their discontent and protest. For those who didn't know- Yeah. They did and it was fantastic game.

The fact that other sports in India are not given the star status that cricket is, is not a new discovery.

It is a pathetic disgrace that victory in a sport that is played in a lot more countries across the globe doesn't please us as much as winning a grossly shortened version of a game that only a handful of nations play. What was also disgraceful was that news channels followed the parade right from the airport to the stadium and there were traffic jams etc. which caused great inconvenience to the general public. It was just too much!

Just for the record- I too am a cricket fan. And I am happy we won the match against Pakistan. That match was also a fantastic one. But I don't know if it is because of my general attitude to this T-20 humbug that I just don't feel all that ecstatic about it. Honestly, I felt happier when Italy won the football world cup. My mind refuses to accept the T-20 as a cricket world cup. There is only one cricket world cup. And we know what happened in that one (I got over that tragedy pretty easily as well)!

Its true that cricket is a craze in India. Players are idolised and worshipped when they win, and their houses torn down when they lose. This, of course, is behaviour that is bordering on pathology. So one might say that Hockey and other sports are actually in a better position- less pressure etc. The players aren't put on a pedestal, so there is no fear of coming crashing down.

But here, I am reminded of a couplet of by (sigh) Ghalib. It goes something like this :-

"laag ho to usko hum samjhe lagaav
jab ho na kuch bhi to dhoka khaen kya?"

Translation:

If we fight, I can tell myself that it is love

How am I to fool myself, if there is nothing at all?

Favourite shots

Of late, when a new batsman comes onto the field, he gives this introduction where he states his name, dominant hand, and favourite shot.

Now I really liked two responses to the "favourite shot" part.

Mohd. Asif (Pak)- "My favourite shot is anywhere in the field...for a six"

Mashrafe Mortaza (Ban)- "My favourite shot is...playing defense"

While one is rather ambitious and has a grandiose quality to it, the other is honest and modest in a very "hum to aise hi hain" ("we are like this only") way.

The more loving one

"...If equal affection cannot be,
let the more loving one be me"


From "The more loving one"
By W.H. Auden

Dear Diary, why don't you slow down for a while?

Saturday, 22nd September 2007
12:41 PM

At this moment, Holy Cow is what one might label as "happy".

At 11:41 - She wasn't.
And at 13:41 - She might not be.

So let's pause here for a moment, or two...

...before moving on to other branches of the mood tree on which she keeps swinging.

Maligning Malinga

Holy Cow: doesn't malinga have a weird bowling action?
very non graceful, the release seems sudden and premature
as if he has impulse control issues

Vino: you sound like you are talking about sex :-)

Catharsis

Monday, 17th September 2007
21:08 PM

"^#*&#%#*!#*%##!!**#!&*&%!!!"

Ahem.

The defense rests your honour.

P.S. Holy Cow wants to step out of her body, watch herself curl up into a ball and melt away...

!Viva el juego!

I love watching cricket and football. Huge fan. Plans are made, or changed depending on game timings, mood changes from ecstatic mania to a kind of been-kicked-in-the-stomach-200-times depression depending on wins and losses.

I feel worse when my team loses in football. Its because of the slow and insidious nature of onset of loss in cricket. I mean, people may say what they want about "you never know till the last ball of the innings" but on the whole one gets an idea of what to expect. Thereafter, one may choose to abandon watching the match or may continue to do so if one's team has a fair chance of winning (Or, if one had masochistic inclinations, if one's team is taking a beating).

Whereas in football, things change in a flash. Without any prior warning, in less than a second your spirits may fall or fly, slump or soar. In just a flash you can be on your knees holding your head screaming "Noooo!!!". And wishing desperately for the ability to turn the clock back by just 3 seconds. Or for a corner or a free kick or a penalty. Anything! Its definitely more cardiac arrest inducing than cricket.

But last night, in the T20- a pause here to mention that T20 is quite a joke in my opinion. I mean, what next? According to my mother "there will come a time when they will have a 'toss toss'". Captains will stroll out, chest all puffed up like a proud pigeon, to cheer and applause. They walk onto the pitch, the umpire spits on the coin and rubs it against his shirt to make it all shiny and a thousand hearts do triple backward somersaults as it is tossed into the air, and makes its way back down, spinning rapidly. One captain calls heads or tails. The coin falls to the ground. There is a hint of a smile on the face of the winning captain, but he doesn't celebrate yet. The decision is referred to the third umpire. He mulls over it as the bat and ball rotate tantalisingly on the large screen. And then, the verdict is flashed on the screen. Fans roar. One captain congratulates the other in a gentlemanly fashion befitting a world class cricket player. Game over.

Anyway, back to reality. I don't understand those dancers they have at the T20. Two guys and two girls. If it is for entertainment, then it dents the purpose of T20- which was to be more entertaining than test or one day cricket. And it doesn't cater to very many people. They ought to have at least placed dancers in five different places around the field, so fun and ogling could be enjoyed by all. I am glad the non existent short shorts (or long underwear, depending on how you look at it) have been replaced by pants though!

But there come moments in cricket which are as nail biting as football is. Take for instance, the game between India and Pakistan last night. Very edge of the seat stuff. For me, it was doubly nice, as I was unaware of the existence a counterpart of the penalty shootout in cricket!! Called the "bowl out"! I was perplexed when I saw another toss, and thankfully a cricket-wise young lad was around to answer my "huh...why? what? how?"s. The three minutes of the bowl out were, needless to say, as tense and exciting as a penalty shootout is. Heart was beating rather quick and I am quite sure I died a few times.

One thing though. I feel the bowl out is easier than the penalty shoot out. I mean, in the latter, at least there is a goalkeeper there who can save the goal. In the former, however, the bowler just has to aim right and hit the unprotected stumps. I have never bowled (I have had a stint with batting as a 10 year old) but I don't think it should be too tough for someone who bowls for a living...no?

It looks fairly easy. Easy enough for me to say, "even I can do that!". Of course, with my bowling action being highly questionable.

And of course, I only say that with the confidence that I do, because I know I will never actually have to do it :)

Of should haves and shoulds

Things people have told me I should do/ should have done- (and a few of my own)

1. Join(ed) the Civil Services (!)

2. Taken formal training in music (now this most people tell me after I have sung a song for them. So I am not sure if they mean it as a compliment or an insult!)

3. Continued my Kathak dance lessons.

4. Opted to study science and become a vet.

5. Run a tea stall

6. Become a florist

7. Take sanyaas (basically leave everything and go live) in the mountains, or near a river (preferably both)

8. Be around animals more. They are the only things that make me happy when nothing else does. So maybe they ought to be included in my sanyaas plans as well huh?

More later...

This list is a realistic one. That is, of things that in theory, could have been done, or can be done. I have not included things like sitting on a bench and watching others live their lives- forever.

But I have not lost all hope that this too will be possible one day.

Wise words from a six-year-old

Some people say the most profound and poignant things without even realising it. A colleague was narrating the following conversation that ensued between her and her six- year- old son.

(Has been translated from original language)

Kid- So tell me, who should I love?

Mom- You should love everyone beta. Loving people is good.

Kid- No No. I mean love...like...who do I marry?

Mom- You can't even manage a shower. Marriage is far away!

Kid- I know that! But I should start thinking about love right now. I need to love the person for some time nah, before I get married to her.

(I am tempted to say it in Hindi as well- "Shaadi karne se pehle thode time tak pyaar to karna padega na. Uske baad hi to, dekh ke, shaadi karoonga")

Makes perfect sense if you ask me! Well done kiddo!

What's up?

This was the guy both TQ and I fell in love with at the same time. Of course, like most devastatingly attractive fellows, he was totally oblivious to the sighs he would evoke in us. And trotted along, leaving smiles on our faces, and hearts that were in danger of exploding with joy.

Angrez(i) ki Atmaprashansa*

A warning to those who do not understand Hindi/Urdu. I will try my level best, but may still fail to prevent utter confusion in your heads. But do read on. Who knows...?

Right. What was I saying? Oh yes. Language is a funny thing. Tells you a lot about the people who use it actually. In subtle ways. In fact, a lot of theorists have brought up the issue of thinking in a particular language.

The illustration I will use in the present instance, is that of the word "Love" in English, and its counterpart in Hindi/Urdu - "Pyaar/Prem/Mohabbat".

Now the English verb is one that is used with both the animate as well as the inanimate. For example, one says "I love Rahul" or "I love Reshma" as easily as one says "I love this song" or "I love that book". No doubt, songs and books are very love inducing things.

But the same word in Hindi or Urdu is not used with inanimate objects. That is, one does not say "Main us gaane se pyaar karti hoon" (I love that song) or "Mujhe us kitaab se mohabbat hai" (I love that book). It makes me feel that the feeling and meaning associated with loving is reserved for the animate category.

Wait. I am going somewhere with this! Inanimate things are created by human beings. That is, they are made by us. While the angrez (by which I mean people using the English language, but, yes, it also means "The English"as a category of people- the traditional users of the English language) find it quite easy to love something they have made, we (in the part of the world where Hindi and Urdu roll off the tongue more easily) are unable to love something that we have made, and keep this most exalted of feelings strictly for the things we cannot take credit for having created.

Now, linking up with this, what do we have? As in the earlier post, which questions the act of worshipping something that you have created, can we also call to question the act of loving something you have created? **

Is there an assumption of a certain narcissism inherent in the English language perhaps? Or in the users of the same? While there is an assumption of humility in Hindi or Urdu, where the emotion of love can be felt only where there is no scope of pride entering the picture?

In parts of the world where worship and love may be equally sacred, in similar ways, pyaar is really the same as prayer isn't it?

* Atmaprashansa= Self Praise

** Did the statement "Aha! But what about children? We create them! And we love them!" come to your mind? Well, I liked Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet in which he clearly states - "Children come through you, not from you". In any case, I believe having children is quite narcissistic anyway. I mean, you create something because you want something to love, and then you love it because you have created it.

The narcissism of man

TQ: actually my drift was more like how we ascribe divinity to calcium formations

Holy Cow: ? my religiously, and divinely handicapped mind cannot understand what you just said ! :-?

TQ: there are no idols in vaishno devi.. just 3 stalactites in the cave called 'pindis'
so i was just talking about how there is so much faith and religiosity etc attached to calcium formations

Holy Cow: ah okay

TQ: well.. if it can be clay idols, it can be anything
anyway..

Holy Cow: of course
in fact
the tites and mites are actually better!

TQ: how?

Holy Cow: at least they are not made by man.
I am reminded of some surah of the Quran

which says something to the effect of
ye pray to that which ye hath created*

I like that a lot :)

TQ: oh nice :)

*I do feel like I have read these very words, but there may be a memory lapse here causing a distortion in language. What it says is - Those unto whom they cry beside Allah, created naught, but are themselves created (Surah XVI, 20- Translation by Mohammed Marmaduke Pickthall)

But I like mine! Since it represents a very arrogant picture of man worshipping something that he himself has made, without referring to the supreme being by a particular name.

Circularity

TQ: look at what we are doing.. we seem to have rather sorry lives.. we rely on such random virtual entertainment to pull us through!

Holy Cow: what dya mean!

TQ: ah.. what the hell! i love it!

Holy Cow: it's people who have sorry lives who need big entertainment!
it's the good people who are content with small things!
(because they can't get the big ones ;-) )

TQ: how circularly beautiful

Social Networking

I realise that most people around me are members of at least one (though in most cases it is more) social networking sites.
Personally, I keep away from these. I was a member of one of them a long time ago, but left because I got in touch with one useful person who I could subsequently remain, and did remain in contact with via email.
Apart from the admission that there is a popularity contest at these places, and the person with most number of "friends" wins- a good time to take another look at this word perhaps*- there is a definite voyeuristic pleasure that people derive out of these places.
"Addictive" is one word people have used for one of them....Facebook. Now I, of the non- social networking- and- having- few- friends category, did not understand how this was possible. What did one do at these places for hours? I was told that you could spend hours going from one profile to another, reading about other people's lives and love. And obviously, if you keep following link after link, there will come a time when you are just looking around at people you don't know.
Such is the craze, that the fact that one can still survive and be a part of the human race if one isn't a member of any of these, strikes people as shocking. People automatically assume that you must be on it.
"Send me photographs", I said to a friend recently.
"Oh, they're on my facebook thing"
"Umm...I am not on facebook!"
"You and your vagueness. Everyone is on it"
"Ummm...clearly not everyone!"

And even better than that was getting scolded for having deleted my profile from facebook! This was a shocker. "Where have you been? Why have you gone underground? Haven't called. Haven't messaged. Facebook profile deleted!"
Holy Cow: "Been here" "Haven't" "Neither have you" X 2 "Hmm...Wait a second!! What??! I was never on the damn thing to begin with!"

* For more, see this

Where I like to wander around

http://www.lifesucks.info/index.htm

- read what he has to say. there is an immense amount of sense, and sensitivity in his words.

http://www.vhemt.org/

- thumbs up to this one.

http://www.youtube.com/

- a round of applause.

http://www.uefa.com/

- because I live where I live and don't get to watch as much football as I would have wanted to.

http://www.espnstar.com/

- for reason, see above.

http://www.panda.org/

- because I love everything about this planet that isn't related to human beings.

http://www.nationalgeographic.com/

- for reason, see above.

http://www.alif-india.com/

- a website dedicated to the work of a great poet.

http://pages.cs.wisc.edu/~navin/india/songs/isongs/indexes/lyrics/sahir_ludhianvi.html

- here's another.

http://amar-akbar-anthony.blogspot.com/

- a blog that is definitely worth reading. I am a huge fan.

That's it for now. There is always room for additions.

Cold Comfort

"When I look at you I can see an angel in your eyes ,

But if I look deeper inside I see a freakish little side" *

I love this picture. There is something about its morbidity, its quiet aggression and rage that draws me in. I particularly like the little girl. She means business.

* From 'Crazy in love' by Eminem.

Am I here?

Chat/Internet is acting weird and bipolar these days. This has caused me to ask- "Am I here?"- a shocking number of times in a day. To illustrate, a recent conversation with TQ

Holy Cow: Hello? Am I here?!
(Silence)
Holy Cow: I need you so I can find myself!
TQ: Yes. I am right here :)

Such sweet words! Music to my ears! Oh! And the joy on hearing that I was in fact present at the scene of the chat and I did in fact exist.

This really takes Winnicott's theory of being able to be only when you find yourself reflected back through the other, to another level now doesn't it!

She

Music is a key element in my existence, and so there are a lot of songs that I absolutely melt, die, live, smile, cry etc. while listening to.

There are songs about a woman. And then there are songs about a woman.

The following is one of my favourite songs. It incorporates a very real picture of the essence of a woman one may be in love with. It provides a space where ambivalence, which is a characteristic of love, is allowed to exist freely. The song is like one of those compliments, where you know its not a fake one because it speaks of and to something the lies deep within you. And also because it mentions your not so pretty aspects as well. Like when someone says "You are weird, but I still like you". The song is in praise of a woman, in spite of, or- even better!- because of all her vulnerabilities. Where it is not only the pleasant things that draw you to her, but all the unpleasantness and uncertainty she evokes in you.

Its really the nicest and the most complete song to sing for a woman, in my opinion.

Here you go:

She may be the face I can't forget
The trace of pleasure or regret
May be my treasure or the price I have to pay
She may be the song the summer sings
May be the chill the autumn brings
May be a hundred different things
Within the measure of a day
She may be the beauty or the beast
May be the famine or the feast
May turn each day into a heaven or a hell
She may be the mirror of my dreams
The smile reflected in a stream
She may not be what she may seem inside her shell
She who always seems so happy in a crowd
Whose eyes can be so crowded and so proud
No one's allowed to see them when they cry
She may be the love that cannot hope to last
May come to me from shadows of the past
But I'll remember till the day I die
She may be the reason I survive
The why and wherefore I'm alive
The one I'll care for through the rough in many years
Me, I'll take her laughter and her tears
And make them all my souvenirs
For where she goes I've got to be
The meaning of my life is she
She...

Women...

mother and child
dressing up and generally being beautiful for her lover
delicate grace

Dal lake, Srinagar.