Billa # 786

There are very few things that give me uncomplicated and unadulterated joy. One of them, is watching Amitabh Bachchan in his older, pre Lal Badshah, films.

Oh what a hero he was! Zanjeer, Don, Deewar, Sholay, Muqaddar ka Sikandar, Sharabi, Lawaaris, Namak Halal, Silsila... Hero-giri was never better.

Recognising the mania that still forms an unbeatable aura around Amitabh Bachchan, SET MAX is doing an 'Ab Tak Bachchan' festival where they show Amitabh movies every night. I am happy. Champions league still hasnt resumed, and yet TV remains watchable

Deewar is showing right now, as I write this post.

Now I like this film. One of my favourite Amitabh films definitely. And the man is devastatingly sexy in it. I have just finished rambling about the film to a poor soul who has to put up with me. But it's been quite a lot of fun for me honestly!

It's made more fun by the fact that I know half the lines of the film. Not just by Amitabh, but by villains # 1 and 2- Daavar and Samant, Nirupa Roy- who always ends up playing his blind/widowed/destitute mother, and bubbly Shashi Kapoor.

Some lines I like

Part I- The obvious ones
"Sahib, mein phenke hue paise nahi uthaata" "Is ladke par nazar rakhna. Yeh lambi race ka ghoda hai" (Iftikar aka Daavar aka villain # 1) "Sahib, bahut saal pehle aap us hi footpath par apne joote polish karvate the...Sahib, main aaj bhi pheke hue paise nahi uthaata"

"Beta, tu koi aisa kaam to nahi kar raha, jo tujhe nahi karna chahiye?" (Nirupa Roy worriedly asks, when Amitabh shows her a palatial house he has bought)

To which our hero responds coolly-
"Nahi Ma, main koi aisa kaam nahi kar raha jo mujhe nahi karna chahiye" (He has become a smuggler. But emphasis on this line, because in the eyes of the angry young man, he is only crooked because of what his crooked fate has dealt him)

Scene: Nirupa Roy standing between two brothers- Amit and Shashi- with one hand blessing each one. She says "Bhagwan tum dono ko kamiyaabi tak pahunchaye"

Why is this important? I will tell you. Because, my friends, the two brothers have been led down opposing paths in life. Amitabh is a smuggler, and Shashi a police officer. Both of them cannot be kamiyaab. Ek ki haar mein hi doosre ki jeet hai !

Okay, we wont get into the whole -"Bhai tum sign karte ho ya nahi... "Jao pehle usse sign le kar aao jisne mere haath par yeh likha tha"... "mere paas bangla etc hai...tumhare paas kya hai?".. (Silence) (Emotion) "Mere paas (pause) ma hai" - lines because they are well known, much loved and oft repeated. But yes, they're great!

Part II- The less obvious ones

"Agar yeh mazaak hai to tum hasne ke liye zinda nahi rahoge"

And, when Amitabh is asked a question he would rather not answer he says "Mere yeh bataane se sone ke daam nahi gir jaayenge"
Wah! Kya lakh rupaye ki baat kahi! (The driver at office says this often, and I thought it was relevant here)

The screenplay of this film was written in 18 days btw by Salim -Javed. Not bad eh?

Also, as he becomes richer, he progresses from smoking beedis, to cigarettes, and finally to cigars. Subtlety my friends, is the key to a good film.

Though it isn't reflected in the scene where Shashi Kapoor is chasing Amitabh towards end, and ends up sprawled on the roof of the car Amitabh is driving, looking very much like a cockroach swimming in water would. That scene kills me.

Now for a few things I dont like about the film.

1. The fact that Amitabh needs a woman. He is soo much more attractive being the angry, young, too-hurt-by-life-to-care-about-romance-shomance, man who remains aloof in the face of Parveen Babi's rather fleshy thighs. I was pleased when she was throwing herself at him, and he remained cool, observant and distant. I was disappointed when they start sleeping with each other. I was devastated when emotions entered their equation.

I mean, he was just perfect as the loner. More relatable.

2. Umm...cmon, there has to be something else. Oh right, Aruna Irani in her item number + cabaret + mujrah number. She starts off okay, but in the end does this little dance step that resembles drunk men dancing in baraats. Personally, the mawaali action is quite endearing at times. But when done by a woman who is dressed as a courtesan at the end of a qawwali-ish song, its just shocking and hilarious. This may have turned into something I like in a funny way about the film btw.


I recommend the film to everyone who likes Amitabh Bachchan but by some misfortune hasn't watched Deewar yet.

And also to those who dont have any particular feelings for Amitabh Bachchan, but like filmy films. I like filmy films, but only pre 1990. If a film post 1990 is typically filmy, I am likely to shoot it down mercilessly.

Jai Valentine! Long live the Panthers!

Last week, Bal Thackeray allegedly said anyone wanting to avoid violence on Valentine's Day should not celebrate it.

To you and your allies- in-ideology, Thakeray Sahib, I say this with heartfelt passion-

F*** off !

And, at your age BT, it might be a good idea to start thinking about getting a life! Isn't Vanaprastha supposed to be about looking inwards rather than poking your vulture like beak into other people's business and imposing your Nazi-esque values on the country?

I almost feel like sending him a large bunch of flowers with a note saying- "Hey sexy, Happy Valentines Day"

I am not a valentiner, but now I want all valentiners to go and start copulating in Thakeray's garden.

Or you know, something less dramatic.

Like singing "Made for each other" like Neelam and Mithun Da in Agnipath.

Where the bathroom geyser meets life

Oh how the simple and seemingly uninteresting things remind you of the irony of life and love!

We were discussing the state of the geyser recently, when The Wise One said, "The bottom part is being held together by the very rust that was the reason for its degeneration"

Sigh.

Yes. The cure is often the same as the illness.

Dard bhi tum, dard ki dawa bhi tum

Caste cabaret

Now we all know that the Brahmins are supposed to be the purest of the pure, wisest of the wise, and religious-est of the religious among the Hindu community. Even among them, there is a particular sub caste - Chaturvedis- who are pretty much the creme de la creme of the Brahmin world.

The word means someone who is familiar with the four vedas. But I'll be damned if you can find more than 40% who even know the names of the four vedas. okay okay. 50%. But I can't loosen it further :-P

Anyway, a Chaturvedi usually only marries a Chaturvedi. Now it makes me wonder how long they can go on without running out of non family chaturvedis. Hence, the community is fairly incestual I would think. Or tending towards it.

They also don't eat onions and garlic. Those are evil things to be avoided by the pure bred and blooded. As someone recently mentioned, a possible reason is that they unearth baser passions. Ooh. Scary.

Have you formed a picture already? Of a boring person who prays a lot? Well baby, I have to say that you are in for a big surprise!

Recently, I had the good fortune of hearing about a particular Chaturvedi's son's wedding. The gentleman also happens to be an officer at a sufficiently high post in one of the Ministries of the Government of India, so I derive double joy from blabbering about him in this post

*evil grin*

At his son's wedding, he invited the entire clan and friends to a "mujraa night". Now this in itself sounded quite shady to me, but then I imagined some live Indian music to which a woman would do a little kathak performance, blended with drinks, and I was at peace with the idea.

Ah, but the evening turned out to be quite different indeed! In the words of my source...

"...It was more a cabaret than a mujraa. There was a DJ playing music, and then these women came out dresssed in the bare minimum required amount of clothes on their body. Some were fat, some were thin but all of them strutted about and danced provocatively. At one point they proceeded to turning their backs to the audience and started gyrating their hips. It was positively vulgar I tell you..!"

Needless to say, a good laugh was had by all.

Except the man's wife. Smt. Chaturvedi was voted as being the best of the dancing women by another male guest.

:-D

Now THATS a good one!

P.S. Rushdie Mian, could you make this incident a part of your next novel please?

"This one's for you" she said..

For they could not love you
But still your love was true

And when no hope was left in sight
On that starry starry night.
You took your life
As lovers often do;
But I could have told you 'Vincent'
This world was never meant
For one
As beautiful
As you.


* From "Vincent" by Don McLean