The Cabin in the Woods: A cinematic lesson in existentialism

A few months ago, against all my natural instincts, I watched Cabin in the Woods. My reasons for doing so were largely due to the trailers that promised something unexpected and the words ‘you think you know the story, but….’ aroused sufficient interest in me. I convinced a friend- who is horror/ thriller aficionada and didn’t need much convincing- to tag along.

!!SPOILER ALERT!!- Do not read further if you intend to watch the film and want the film’s plot to remain a secret. You have been warned. My responsibility ends here.

 

The story revolves around five college goers (being represented by a jock, a somewhat provocative blonde woman who is also the jock’s girlfriend, an academic guy, a stoner and a demure, brunette woman) who take a weekend break to a cabin in the woods and like any other slasher film, start getting killed off one by one.

Usually, films of this kind have plots that offer thrills and little else. Remember the episode of F.R.I.E.N.D.S in which Rachel suggests that Joey can't take her bra off because on some level he doesn't want to, and Joey responds with “No! I don’t have another level!”? Well, that’s my opinion of slasher films of the I-know- what-you-did-last-summer and Scream genre. Cabin in the Woods however has several levels. In fact, I think the film offers rich subject matter for a discussion on philosophy and existentialism. And having sat through some rather tedious films in the course of my academic life, I can honestly say I’d be happy to attend such a class.

Some of the dialogues and one-liners are quite witty and the film definitely has its moments. It offers thrills and humour in somewhat equal measure, sending an ever so slight chill down your spine or making you laugh at appropriate junctures.

Secondly, it’s gory. Now all slasher films necessarily involve some amount of blood and gore, but Cabin in the Woods leaves most of them far behind by depicting a colourful tumult of blood, body parts and bodily fluids. I loved it. I’ve always enjoyed blood, gore, decapitations and disembowelments. Some of that is down to curiosity about the human body I suppose (‘I wonder what slicing through flesh feels like?’). I am not a violent person in my real life. That being said, I am also not in denial of the fact that certain actions – cruelty, bullying or abuse of any kind- make angry enough to want to rip the perpetrators to shreds with my bare hands and wish them a slow, painful death. I find that indulging my aggressive side in the form of fantasies, videogames etc. is quite therapeutic. The key is the ability to distinguish between fantasy and reality, thought and action, desire and behaviour and to accept the psyche’s various inclinations without judgment or suppression.

Those are the textual elements of the film, what is seen and heard. What sets it apart from other slasher films is what can be inferred from the plot.

Before I delve into the film’s subtext, I feel the need to expand on the plot somewhat for the benefit of readers who ignored the spoiler alert because they don’t want to watch the film or don’t care much for its surprise element(s).

So the youngsters are on vacation but what they don’t know is that in passing through a tunnel they have crossed over from the real world into a world controlled by white-collar technician type of people. These technicians are employed by their bosses ‘downstairs’, referred to in the film as the ‘ancient ones’, and the travellers are essentially sacrificial lambs who are to be killed off to please the ancient ones. Similar events are shown to be taking place all over the world. The cabin world contains a plethora of evil creatures that can potentially be the cause of the youngsters’ deaths, each one the result of a separate action taken by the vacationers. Long story short, in the end only the brunette and stoner reach ‘downstairs’ in their quest for answers and discover that their sacrifice is essential for the survival of the species because the ancient ones (aka Gods) are mad at human beings for their transgressions, and they will destroy the species unless placated.

Call it delusional over-thinking or unparalleled creative prowess in film interpretation (there are no prizes for guessing which one I prefer), but here’s why I think Cabin in the Woods is a film of great relevance to human existence.

 

Puppets and puppeteers

 

The human-beings-as-puppets theme was apparent on two levels- philosophical and cinematic. On a  philosophical level the film was significant because of its allusion to aspects of human existence that we cannot control. In some ways, we are puppets in the hands of destiny, fate, biology, science, god- whatever you choose to call it. I resort to lines from the Rubaiyat of Omar Khayyam to make my case:-

 

'Tis all a Chequer-board of Nights and Days

Where Destiny with Men for Pieces plays:

Hither and thither moves, and mates, and slays,

And one by one back in the Closet lays.

 

From a cinematic perspective, and as someone easily scared by scary films, I like the idea of there being a finite number of gimmicks employed by filmmakers to frighten audiences. In the moment that we watch these films and submit to fear, we are like puppets in the hands of puppeteers/ filmmakers who are able to evoke certain reactions from us by pulling the right strings. In Cabin in the Woods, we see the two survivors travel in an elevator of sorts across different rooms, each containing a different scary character. This scene was quite comforting for me because once you’ve seen scary creatures tucked away in closets by other humans it makes them less scary. Context is everything. If the guy from Texas Chainsaw Massacre approaches you in the dead of the night in an isolated dungeon it’s much scarier than if he were to be walking around in a crowded mall on Halloween.

Free will

 

The film highlights that even in the midst of a world they cannot control there is some element of choice afforded to the unsuspecting vacationers. As one of the technicians points out, they have to choose to ignore the extremely creepy guy in the run down petrol station, they have to choose to go down to a cellar in the night, and the reason for their demise is directly dependent on which, of many different objects strategically placed in the above mentioned cellar, catches their fancy. The final choice facing our protagonists is whether to kill themselves and save humanity or save themselves and face the consequences. The relevant point is that even in a world under the influence of an entity other than you, you have the capacity to make choices and the consequences you face depend on those choices. Additionally, though you don’t choose to be born, how you die can be up to you. I think the right to self-determine how or even whether one lives is a fundamental and unconditional right, well depicted in the film by the final decision taken by the protagonists to sit down with each other and smoke a joint while the world comes crashing down around them.

Tied to this idea is the eternal struggle between fear and freedom. For the religious- particularly followers of a prescriptive religion that tells you you’ll go to hell if you are gay, drink alcohol, have pre-marital sex, use contraception etc. etc.- many decisions are motivated entirely by fear of some allegedly negative consequences of deviating from the prescribed path. I’ve met many people who are all too willing to relinquish any rational thought or introspection in the face of religious scripture or doctrine. The answers to questions such as “Why/ why not?” are mind-numbingly simple – “Because my religion says so”. And more often than not, the follow-up question “Why do you follow said religion?” doesn’t yield an intelligent answer either.

I am reminded of a conversation I had with an old African woman. She said “The fear of God is a great excuse to make people do what you want them to. When I was young, my mother used to tell us not to play in the street because God would punish us if we did. We listened. We wouldn’t have listened to her if she’d said we’d get run over by a car”. This particular story made me smile but how many people the world over perform the cruelest, most despicable acts of hatred and aggression because they believe they’re doing what their religion asks of them? “People are never so completely and enthusiastically evil as when they act out of religious conviction”, writes Umberto Eco in The Prague Cemetery.

In the film, the threat of extinction is used to persuade the girl to kill her friend, and she very nearly succumbs to it. In the end however, they both choose not to kill each other despite Sigourney Weaver’s (who by the way, seems to be in every science fiction film!) attempts to scare them into taking each other’s lives. This is refreshing to say the least because what you see is a human being exercising free will in the face of catastrophe, taking a stand for what feels right to him/her, choosing a friend and fellow human over the alleged dictates of a God they’ve never met.

The end of the human species

Those who know me and/or have read this blog may be aware that I don’t have a high opinion of the human species and in fact delight at every little thing that puts us in our place and drags us down from the high pedestal on which we usually park ourselves.  Consequently, I thoroughly enjoy watching films in which people come under attack from other creatures – aliens, spiders, dinosaurs, sharks and suchlike. Even better if the attack is the result of human arrogance and/or stupidity (like in Jurassic Park). Watching such films, there is a huge part of me rooting for the non-humans to win. I mean, I thought it was tragic when the shark gets blown up in Jaws! :-( I find it utterly disappointing and boring when we are promised the end of the world and at the last minute, Tom Cruise or Will Smith manages to single-handedly save the day.

Films in which human beings end up vanquished rather than victorious are a breath of fresh air. Cabin in the Woods such a film. The film suggests that the survivors’ decision not to kill each other leads to the ancient Gods rising from the depths of the earth to take over (a giant hand comes out of soil and engulfs the screen). The last dialogue of the film is “Maybe it’s time we gave someone else a chance”. That’s terrific I say, because it reflects an awareness of something bigger than us, in whose plans human beings are just another species that happened to come into existence because the conditions were right rather than having some kind of central or special place in the cosmos. Whether due to Gods or physics or both, the universe is ever changing. Species come and species go. Stars are born and they collapse. Even the end of the world is not necessarily the end of the world. It’s only the end of the world as human beings know it.

If there is a choice between between fear and freedom, quantity and quality, longevity and liberty,  one hopes that one has the courage to make the right choice. The way I see it, the final decision of the people in Cabin in the Woods is a respectable one.

 

Na sahi wasl to hasrat hi sahi

A few mornings ago I was reading an article about one of those assistance dogs that do such amazing things. After sufficient ooh-ing and wow-ing I remarked that I should become a dog trainer. Seconds later I added that I would be a terrible dog trainer because I wouldn't be able to discipline the dog and would pretty much let it do whatever the hell it wanted. A digression here to inform readers that while friends and even colleagues know that I have the ability to be scarily strict and no-nonsense type, it is limited to members of the human species. With animals I melt like a slab of butter when Jerry soothes his burning bum on it (The fact that I couldn't think of a metaphor better than one involving Tom & Jerry is testimony to my borderline crazy adoration of animals).

So yeah, when I said I wouldn't last three days in a job as a dog trainer, my partner said "You should be a dog spoiler instead"

Friends, nomads and countrymen! The moment comes but rarely in history when you realise what your true calling is. That morning when my beloved told me what I should be, dear lectores, was one such moment.

Unfortunately, I don't think there is such a thing as a dog-spoiler. It got me thinking about additional employment opportunities that haven't yet seen the light of day, but which I would gladly apply for and probably never leave unless forced to do so.

Dog spoiler

Duties could include showing unabashed affection towards the dog, feeding, grooming and playing with it, defending its right to do almost anything, letting it sleep on £5000 mattresses, oh what the heck! letting it sleep on my head if it wants to, talking to it about existence, and receiving gyaan (pearls of wisdom) from it. The only problem is dogs are so easy going and unpretentious that they wouldn't care about many of these services. A cat would, but I don't want to be a cat spoiler. Yes, I like some animals more than others. I like all animals more than humans.

Culturally and intellectually engaged alter-ego of a rich person

A rich man, or woman, wants to keep abreast with the best of literature, poetry and music but doesn't have the time to indulge these cultural pursuits. He/she would pay me to read great books and poetry, attend lectures and talks on a variety of interesting subjects, and listen to beautiful music. I would then take out an hour or two each day to succinctly summarise the plot, philosophy, underlying themes, meanings- both apparent and symbolic, and essence of those books, talks, poems and songs for the benefit of my employer. This combines several of my favourite activities with another- teaching. Hmmm...maybe this could include a travel component also. Since I am making it up as I go along, it shall.

Feedback- giver

Based on comments by recipients and my own gut instinct, I believe I would make a good feedback-er. Good feedback should be useful. Something that the feedback-ee should be able to do something with. Comments like "This was awful" are pointless. So is being too nice. I am not in favour of sugar coated critique. I dislike sugar. Especially when it coats things. Apart from those German mini-doughnut type things, which I could quite easily do with right about now.

Firer

Not guns, though we can come to that later perhaps. I mean the kind person who gets to say "You're fired!". Inspired by cinema, I think companies should outsource firing people. These are tough times, and everyone knows that letting a faithful employee go isn't easy. I would like to be the one who takes that burden of duty off them. Outsource the hatred directed towards the messenger! What a great idea! I will happily take on the part of said messenger. I'm actually surprised this isn't already a bonafide source of income.

Defender of personal autonomy and human rights

In a society afflicted with "fear of offending" I can be hired to tell people off if they interfere with my prospective employer's personal freedom on ridiculous grounds including appeals to religion, class, caste, or the wider social community ("Log kya kahenge"). To tell someone to %$@* off and take their personal opinion with them would feel so much better if it were part of my job description. For two reasons. First, I'd get paid for it. Second, and perhaps more importantly, there would be no dithering or discomfort about meddling in the private affairs of another person. The (somewhat overbearing) presence of my nose and foot in matters concerning a third party would be legitimised by my employment contract.

Before signing anything, I would master some form of deadly combat like Krav Maga to be better equipped to do my job and deal with...ahem....impediments effectively.

Food taster (Vegetarian :-p)

The job title is self explanatory. A dream job list that doesn't involve delicious food is proof that the person making the list is either sadly misinformed about the pleasures of existence, or keeled over in the middle of the exercise, thereby leaving the list incomplete.

Of the above-mentioned, I believe the professional firer, feedback-giver and alter-ego are real possibilities. Do millionaires with no time on their hands read this blog?

One lives in eternal hope, doesn't one?

The Baby Delusion

Shudder do I at the thought of reproduction

Prospective parents and their debilitating delusion

Believing their children are the miracle of immortality

When gene-perpetuation is, ironically and evidently,

A hopeless repetition of man's inevitable self-destruction

Hum jaante hai jannat ki haqeeqat lekin, dil ko behelaane ke liye yeh khayal accha hai

(Snippets of an old conversation with someone)

hmm...old age can be weird. I don't mind it as long as all my sense organs are working fine, I can still walk/ run around, and other body parts don't give up. Basically, age doesn't matter as long as qualitty of life doesn't deteriorate.

I am very amused by this talk about "wanting to be dead"

I mean death is so amazing as a thing! It's the one thing you can't really talk about 'wanting' in seriousness without sounding stupid. Because wanting something always connotes desiring something because you anticipate a good result. i.e. you want something because of how it will make you feel once your desire is satiated.

With death, that's impossible. You can want it all you like, but when you get it, you won't be around to experience the fulfillment of the want. So till the time you are capable of feeling and thought, you are left wanting. and when one isn't capable of feeling and thought, how does anything matter anyway?

death is not the end of suffering. If you suffer in life, and are seeking escape in death, its pretty hopeless. Because you will suffer till you are alive. and when you die, it doesn't matter if there is suffering or not because you wont be alive to suffer its presence or enjoy its absence.

.....

Having said that, I talk about wanting to die all the time! :-) but that's more for the sake of drama. And finding expression of an extreme kind for what is otherwise inexpressible.

I think my attitude to death is one of indifference. Not wanting or not-wanting.

................

To escape pain for what? Why do we want to escape pain? Because absence of pain is desirable. Otherwise there is no point wanting it. But with death even that wont be there. Except for others to discuss at an intellectual level. Or for us to discuss it now, at an intellectual level.
Not for the one who has died. For him, as long as he "was" he was suffering. When he "was" no more, well, the verb "to be" can't be applied in any form

.............

For whom is it over? You talk about something unpleasant being "over" for someone, only if they have experienced its absence. Otherwise you wouldn't know it is over right? And how is that possible after death? Except for the alive ones to talk about and discuss?

There is no 'you' after you die.. except in the minds of others you have left behind.
And yes, the idea of death as the end of suffering offers us solace when we are alive. But actually, its a delusion.

.............

But no matter when you die, the pain remains till you do. Even to say "extra pain" and "extra suffering", one has to go way beyond the here and now and it is still a very distanced perspective on the matter.
For instance, lets say I have died. This question of "would have suffered more if she were alive" is something others will discuss after I am gone.
also, "if he hadn't died, he would still be suffering", again this doesn't mean much to the person who dies. If I think that "if I die, I will no longer suffer" makes no sense at all. There will be no "I" after I die who "will no longer suffer"

It is as if a pigeon is trapped in a cage, and one day the cage is opened and it has its first shot at freedom. What I am trying to say vis a vis death is the equivalent of the pigeon's neck snapping just when it is reaching the open door.

............

yes... it sounds like quite a plan in theory. That's what I am saying. It's great comfort for the alive ones to talk about it like this. But in actuality, and if one doesn't believe in life after death and what not, then death is the end of you. Not of the suffering. And no, it doesn't suffice to say if you are not there, then there is no suffering.

Your saying "if they continued to exist, they would continue to suffer" still doesn't help the dead man. Again, you may not say it that way, but the desire for something positive (in this case the avoidance of continued suffering) is implied in the cessation of something negative.

It's not an enemy you can outsmart or defeat.

Imagine it like this. Let's say there's an ostrich who buries its face in the sand to escape a predator. When its face is buried, it can't breathe, see, hear, or feel. It is closed to experience of any kind. In order to experience again, it has to come out, and when it does, the predator is still there.

As I understand it now, your argument is that when it can't experience anything, it can't experience the predator either. But what I am saying is that the second part of this statement is incorrect. For to say "it cannot experience" implies an "it"'s existence. But that is not the case. You can say "it isn't". But once you establish that, any other or further negation is not possible. For when something isn't, the possibility of other verbs being negated ceases to exist

.................

For me to hold the idea that death brings an end to their suffering is a functional one to have. But it doesnt help the one on the other side.

For example, I was glad when Arundhati (an injured and suffering elephant) succumbed to her pain and died. For it gave me mental peace to think that her pain had come to and end. But really, thats a belief I have in order to comfort myself.

For till the time she could feel, she felt pain. So when she died, it was not like she was relieved from her pain. There was no "she" left.

................

The only thing I am suggesting is that however adaptive and great this idea of death as an escape is, it is a purely theoretical one and it can never be anything else. Experientially, it is impossible.

Suffering is a constant companion, a sangdil saathi.

Take a step back, and ask yourself...

What your priorities are.

I have liked being the self appointed pointer-outer of what we as a race need to stop and take a look at, introspect and reflect upon etc.

Here is one more.

This horrible and extremely eerie system of a six day working week.

Does it not make you stop and wonder about what you prioritise? What we as a nation prioritise if we have so many people working six days a week? Since when did work become the be all and end all of our existence? Why are we going in the wrong direction rather than the right one? By which I mean from greater freedom and chances to live, to stricter deadlines and too much stress about making a living.

Of course, I am not disregarding the rising prices that make making a living a difficult dream for many to realise. What I am saying is that there should be some sort of rule that makes it punishable to work more than five days a week.

For everyone- regardless of age, caste, class and religion.

Recently, discussions with colleagues who have children etc. led me to discover the ugliest of ugly facts. That children are going to school six days a week now, instead of five.

My thoughts on the education system can wait for another time and another post, but six days a week for kids? This should be enough to make us stop dead in our tracks, isn't it?

What happened to our ideals of life being about doing things you enjoy doing, being with people you enjoy being with, surrounding yourself with books, beauty and melody?

If we do not wish to examine our lives individually, let us at least look at the fact that we are all , collectively, tending towards this despicable habit.

We are turning ourselves into working drones people.

Our actions say a lot about who we are and what we stand for. Raise your voices against a six day week. Be home. Be with your family. Be with your children. Be with what you cherish and love and what makes living worthwhile for you.

This can only work if we work in unison. If I start protesting along against working on the sixth day, I will just get fired and there will be plenty of other drones waiting with hands raised to take my place.

Can it happen? Perhaps. We will only know if we try.

It's a bit like the custom of dowry. If all the women say no, the greedy men will have to either change, or stay single.

Once in a while, there comes along a Fwd that is more than just trash.

Someone forwarded me a long list of crazy "things-to-do-when-you-are-bored". Some are more like general tips on good living. I liked. I also appreciate the thought that went into coming up with them in the first place. Don't know who did though. Whoever! If you are reading this, let it be known that a good time was had because of you and that your mind has been of good use to someone else. Congratulations for that!

Now, not only were some of them awfully American and totally not applicable to India or Indians, some were actually quite offensive to animals (For e.g. there was one that suggested "throwing your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet" or "shave your cat") and those have been removed from the list below.

So yes, read and enjoy and take down these Vishesh Tippanis.

I have taken the liberty of minor changes to some and have of course, given my own experiences with the VTs or thoughts on the same.

Presenting: What-to-do-when-you-are-bored-or-what-to-refer-to-when-you-need- a-little-direction-in-life

• Sharpen your teeth
  


• Play Houdini (I would love to. Under supervision and with the paramedics waiting of course. Houdini has always enraptured my mind)
  

• Clean and polish your belly button
  

• Water your dog...see if he grows (Okay, I didnt think this was offensive)
  


• Wash a tree (Gladly. Have washed a plant before)
  


• Knight yourself (Done that in my mind a few times)
  


• Give your cat a mohawk (Don't have one. But I imagine this might be fun if the cat doesnt scratch your eyes right out while you are in the process of styling its hair)
  


• Purr (Done this before. It is thoroughly enjoyable)
  


• Whine (Who doesn't?)
  


• Listen to a painting
  


• Play with matches (Done this. I wish matchsticks were longer. Maybe I should add, "Invent long matchsticks" to this list. Consider it added)
  


• Read Homer in the original Greek
  

• Change your mind

• Change it back


• Learn Greek (Alrighty!)
  


• Watch the sun...see if it moves (Check. Buy special glasses first)
  


• Stand on your head (I have a weird head problem which makes my head hurt if I am upside down for long. So this might not be fun for me. But others are most welcome to try)
  

• Stand on someone else's head (Believe it or not, have done this before. Again, enjoyable but kinda difficult to retain balance. Hold a wall while at it, is my suggestion)
  


• Build a pyramid (Next: climb it)
  

• See how long you can stay awake (This is only possible if I do many of the other things on the list)
  


• See how long you can sleep
  


• Speak with a forked tongue (I couldn;t really imagine this, but I think this has potential for fun-ness)
  

• Have a proton fight ( *Grin. Reminded of Calvin and Hobbes)
  


• Quiver (Ooh, what fun!)
  


• Learn to type...with your toes (This is seriously on the agenda)
  


• Be someone special (Err...blah)
  


• Go back to square one (I seem to find myself here all the time, causing me to wonder whether there ever is anything beyond it)
  


• Memorize a series of random numbers (I bet this is invented by Ebbinghaus' grandson)

• Learn Sanskrit (Sob sob. I shall. I promise! I even bought myself a "Teach yourself Sanskrit" book two years ago. Aham Gacchami)
  


• Exist...existentially, of course (Favourite thing to do. Or something I always aspire to do)
  


• Take a picture (Done. Sigh etc. Wish I could do it more often)
  


• Sandpaper a mushroom (He he. I don't like mushrooms. So this sounds promising as a potential outlet for latent aggression)
  


• Put it back (Mutters to self)
  


• Run for Pope (First, run after. Second, run over. And then run for- :-P)
  


• Count to a million...fast (See, this seems do-able. But doesn't excite me as such. Why I left it on? Who knows?)
  


• Make a schematic drawing...of a rock (I am sure I have done this in the past)
  

• Commit seppuku...with a paper knife (I recently bought a blunt switchblade that has cost my friends some of their sanity as I keep going on about what I can do with it and where I can use it. This may be the beginning and the end)
  


• Think shallow thoughts (Haven't I shared my profound insight about how I think shallow is the real deep? That needs an entire post altogether)
  


• Sleep on a bed of nails (Yes. I have always been inspired by Bhishma)
  


• Boil ice cream (This made me make a face similar to --> :-^ but worth doing once)
  


• DON'T toss and turn (I like this. It proves that the thinker-upper of these things to do really wanted to prevent this uncomfortable behaviour that people engage in when bored)
  


• Run around in squares (Would it still be called running "around" if one does it in squares?)
  


• Think of quadruple entendres (Hmmmm....*scratches chin thoughtfully)
  


• Speak in acronyms
  


• Have your pillow X-rayed (Err...okay but only if you promise I won't be arrested for the 3 kgs of Cocaine they will find there)
  


• Drink straight shots...of water (I am a water fan. Drink about 16 ltrs a day. Haven't tried this ever. Have had shots of orange juice though. And had Fanta with a spoon. Both were enjoyable activities)
  


• Calmly have a nervous breakdown (Love this one. I am sure I have done this)
  


• Give your goldfish a perm (I don't have a goldfish. But again, sounds like a plan!)
  


• Exorcise a ghost ( *grin)
  


• Be bluem (Done that)
  


• Be red (Never felt red)
  


• But don't be orange (Dont think I will be)
  


• Paint stripes on a lake (On the agenda for sure. First thought that came to mind- Dal Lake. Second thought- stripes wont go with the triangular mountains surounding it)
  


• Sleep in freefall (I will probably be too busy dying)
  


• Test thin ice...with a pogo stick ( :-) )
  


• Do a good job (I didn't know if this means, with the above recommendation or in general. I like it if it means the former)
  


• Crawl (Done this. Fun.)
  


• Watch a watch until it stops (Real 'time killer')
  


• Flash your goldfish (Oh the poor thing! But I laughed when I read it so left it on)
  


• Paint (Done that. Even with fingers. Painted a star on a friend's wall once, and she said it looked like it had flown in and slammed against the wall and gone "Splat!". I took as a compliment. My star had a personality)
  


• Smile ( :-) )
  


• Paint a smile (I hope they mean draw and not paint paint)
  

• Kick a fire hydrant
  


• Pretend you're blind


• Apologize to it (This was sweet)
  


• Plant a shoe


• Sweat (Yes. You will not be out of line to say "Why the hell?!. But think about it. It may have something that you are missing)
  


• Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil ( *grin)
  


• Turn (This I like because I think it is random-est of them all)
  


• Take your sofa for a walk (I imagine doing this. Without a leash though)
  


• Write a letter to Plato ( Thumbs up)
  


• Mail it (Shall I send it by registered post where he has to sign for it?)
  


• Play the piano...with mittens on (I have always wanted to. Play the piano that is)
  


• Contemplate a cockroach (Again, surprisingly I have done this)
  


• Get a dog to chase your car (I didn't like this one)
  


• Let him catch it (Until I read this)
  


• Form a political party (A friend told me to once, in all seriousness. At the time, all I could come up with was the "All India Non Religious Party of Liberal Humanism")


• Climb a sidewalk (To give a bhaashan - speech)
  


• Have a political party


• Sharpen a carrot (This I thought was very innovative)
  


• Interrogate a gerbil (Now, one would think the inventor had it in for gerbils in a big way)
  


• Annoy yourself (Don't think I can. But I can kill several hours trying to!)
  


• Get mad at yourself (Umm...)
  


• Stop speaking to yourself (NO!!!)
  


• Be a side effect (Love this one!)
  


• Be someone simple (I would be someone complexly simple or simply complex)
  


• Scheme
  


• Sit (Done this)
  


• Stay (Starting to feel like a dog being trained)
  


• Roll over (Hey! There better be a treat at the end of all this!)
  


• Wriggle (Done this)
  


• Play dead (Done this)
  


• Donate your brother's body to science ( * Evil Grin. Can I be the scientist too?)
  


• Find a witch (Ooh, don't forget to pick her brains clean and take notes. Detailed!)
  


• Regress (Done this)
  


• Sleepwalk without sleeping (Done this, I think)
  


• Jump back (Done this. Also, this is definitely more fun than jumping forward)
  


• Play to lose (Done this. Usually while arm-wrestling with kids)
  


• Read a tomato (What fun! I will snack on a cut up book while doing so)
  


• Sharpen your sleeping skills (Have been, in recent times)
  


• Interview a cloud (Big thumbs up)
  


• Put out a fire
  


• If you can't find a fire, make one (This is more fun than the putting out part)
  


• Crumple (This is immensely satisfying)
  


• Translate Shakespeare into English (I like the sentiment here)
  


• Cheer up a potato (Ah! This sounds like a great plan and is worthy of inclusion in the list twice by virtue of being a pass time, as well as a life's little instruction type thing because of its prosocial hues)
  


• Do aerobic exercises...in your head (Done this)
  


• Build a house with ice cubes (This also reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes)
  


• Change your name...daily (Good. I have always wondered how parents can zero in on one name for their kids)
  


• Wonder (Do this. A lot)
  


• Be a square root (Hmm....of?)
  


• Ask stupid questions (As above?)
  


• Spew
  


• Be a monk...for a day (Yes. Definitely worth engaging in)
  

• Staple (I like stapling)
  


• Run away (Oh, what wouldn't I give to..)
  


• Intimidate a piece of chalk ( :-) )
  


• Abuse the plumbing (Done this)
  


• Create random equations
  


• Tell your feet a joke (I am not a good joke teller. But I will ask my feet to tell me one)
  


• Throw a tomato into a fan (Can you imagine the amount of fun this could be?!)
  


• Pretend you're a dog (Have done so. Several times. In fact, have done so in this post itself by now)
  


• Dial-a-prayer and argue with it (Gladly!)
  


• Relive fond memories (I Do)
  


• Gargle (I Do)
  


• Count your teeth with your tongue (Have started, but lose track half way. Must complete)
  


• Decay (I Am)
  


• Build a house out of toothpicks
  


• Howl (Do. Silently)
  


• Wear a lampshade on your head (I can see myself doing this, having perfected the art of wearing a tea-cosy on my head when I was a child)
  


• Memorize the dictionary (Aspire to. Dictionary of several languages)
  


• Make yourself a pair of wings (I would use chiffon dupattas)
  


• Be immobile (Done this)
  


• Dance 'til you drop (Done this)
  


• Moo ( :-P Done this)
  


• Bounce a potato (Can try!)
  


• Out maneuver your shadow (I mean, what a brilliant idea! Really, hats off to the thinker-upper again! Have tried this btw! Great great fun!)
  


• Climb the walls (Have half done this)
  

• Appreciate everything (Cant)
  


• Challenge yourself to a duel (Have imagined this several times. In a black vs. white body-suit)
  


• Let the best man win (Woman, you mean)
  


• Hold an ice cube as long as possible (Have done this. It stings, but it's fun)
  


• Adopt strange mannerisms (Already have)
  


• Blow up a balloon until it pops (I have surprisingly poor lung capacity for blowing up balloons. Have blown bubbles till they pop though. Even with non stick chewing gum)
  


• Sing soft and sweet and clear (Done this)
  


• Sing loud and sour and gravely (This is what it sounds like to others when I am actually trying to do previous one)
  

• Open everything (I am a close-r, really)
  


• Balance a pencil on your nose (Tried. Failed)
  


• Grind your teeth (Done this)
  


• Chew ice (Do this a lot)
  


• Gesture (Do this a lot as well)
  


• Make a pass at your blender (Ooh, *wink)
  


• Make up words that start with X (Xorry! I Xant!)
  


• Sing a duet (Sung)
  


• Balance a pillow on your head (Done)
  


• Hold your breath (Done)
  


• Faint (I thought this was a great idea for a thing-to-do-when-bored)


• Stretch (Done)
  


• Learn to speak Farsi (Damn! This thing is a mind reader as far as me and languages are concerned. I want to learn Farsi. Mostly for Khusro)
  


• Swear in Russian ( Zavali yebalo! I googled it and found it here.)
  


• Use an eraser until it goes away (How come I never thought of this myself!?)
  


• Interview your feet (The first question will be - Can you tell me a joke?)
  


• Make a list of your favorite fungi (You know which fungi I dont like? Mushrooms!)
  


• Sell formaldehyde (Thumbs Up. Reminded of Fight Club)
  


• Make napalm (Thumbs Up. Again, as above)
  


• Begin (Begun)
  


• Hold your earlobes (Done)
  


• Fold your earlobes (Done. This is fun)
  


• Flap (The earlobes? Or the wings I made earlier?)
  


• Squawk (Dont think I can pull this one off)
  


• Read tea leaves (Sorry, I can't drink a book while)
  


• Analyze the Koran (Started. Will do one day. Also the Bhagavad Gita. Actually my brainstorm was to do a comparison/similarity finding type thing. Got it while brushing my teeth one morning many years ago)
  


• Be Buddha (Can do. I wouldn't abandon my family though. Would be wise enough to not have kids either, rather than having them and calling them names)
  


• Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize (Ah! Glory!)
  


• Think lewd thoughts about yourself (Umm...next !)
  


• Peel grapes (Done)
  


• Make paper from the skins (What an idea!)
  


• Send chills down your spine (Done this. It's a fairly regular feature of my existence)
  


• Blow bubbles (Done. Who doesn't enjoy this?)
  


• Bloat (Sigh. Feel like I am most of the time)
  


• Get run over by a train of thought (Done that)
  


• Make up famous sayings
  


• Bite your pinkie (Done this)
  


• Design a better toilet seat
  


• Shred a newspaper (Fun. I like destroying stuff I think. But I would recycle the paper after shredding)
  


• Scratch (my back and I'll scratch yours)
  


• Have a headache (Do. Does anyone want one?)
  


• Sniff (Done that. Fun only if met with tender and soothing words)
  


• Hatch an egg (I have seen a 6 year old do this. It was hilarious to watch. He was playing a game with me where I had to guess what he was)
  


• Spill (Oops)
  


• Act profound (Did I not just say shallow is the new deep? That's profound)
  


• Stare (Done that. Not at people)
  


• Truncate (Would love to)
  


• Put your feet behind your head (Have tried. Got one of them there)
  


• Hold your hand (Done this. It's quite nice. Jodi tor dak shune keu na ashe tobe ekla cholo re)
  


• Watch the minute hand move (But I already watched my watch till it stopped)
  


• Pretend you're a telephone
  


• Ring
  


• Radiate


• Skip (Done that. Should start again in fact.)
  


• Play hopscotch...with real scotch ( * Grin)
  


• Clock the velocity of your REMs (Es posible?)
  


• Put your shoes on the opposite feet (Have. :-P )
  


• Cross your toes (Do)
  


• Roll your tongue (Over :-) ? )
  


• Crystallize
  


• Hide (Do)
  


• Declare war (Ah. Finally I can join El Querido when he says "Hamle ke liye tayyar!"
  


• Seduce your stick shift (err.... the thinker-upper started thinking too much with his own it would seem)
  


• Wink ( ;-) )
  


• Memorize the periodic table (Sigh. Again?)
  


• Mummify (Ooh!)
  


• Collect electrons (There's Calvin and Hobbes again. I swear, they are an overpowering influence in my life)
  


• Repeat (There's Calvin and Hobbes again. I swear, they are an overpowering influence in my life)


• Fade (I shall, one day)
  


• Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")
  


• Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong (Gladly!)
  


• Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail ( B-))
  


• Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire (Incidentally, have been watching the TV series lately)
  


• Walk on water...but don't get caught (Shh. Okay)
  


• Confess to a crime...that didn't happen
  


• Be in the wrong place at the right time (for some reason, this sounds more fun than being in the right place at the wrong time)
  

• Plot the overthrow of the Government (Gladly)
  


• Write a book about your previous life (Yes. I have an interesting candidate who fits the bill for my previous life)
  


• Jump up and down...on your alarm clock (For the sleepers, I bet this is something they have mentally done fifty billion times)
  

• Make a quilt out of cocktail napkins
  


• Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniel's
  


• Carve yours and your girlfriend's/boyfriend's initials...in a marshmallow (Probably wouldn't do in on a marshmallow. But it's a passable idea for a passtime me thinks)
  


• Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes
  


• Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster (I thought I was hitting on the blender??)
  
• 
  
• See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement (Okay. But I want the IAEA out of it!)
  


• Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy (This was American but worth retaining)
  


• Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks
  


• Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed


• Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese (I would prefer paan)
  


• Debate politics with a fern
  


• If you lose, stop watering it and try again. (Love this following previous one)
  


• Be a threat to the American way of life ( *grin)
  


• Do research into the cause of World War III
  


• See how small you can scrunch your face (Done this)
  


• Raise professional certified racing turnips (Ah, don't change your passions for glory!)
  


• Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation (I thought this was cute)
  


• Park your car...with a friend (Done)
  


• Park your car...with a group of friends (Done)
  


• Frame your first statement of bankruptcy (Yes. I have to be ready for when the turnips fail)
  


• Place it on the wall of your office


• Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor
  


• Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night (Would love to!)
  


• Play with anything that looks interesting (Do)
  


• Try to ignite water (Hmmmm)
  


• Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up (Yeah. They always annoyed me anyway)
  


• State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")
  


• See if diamonds really do cut glass (Yes. And in future don't believe everything they tell you!)

• Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while (This is so morbid and appeals to me)
  

If you could, what would you criminalize?

Having babies. That’s what.

Its shocking, the extent of narcissism a man will indulge really. I refuse to believe that there is something else that propels human beings to have children, apart from the fact that a. they can and b. this joy ride that they take on their egos, just so they can say “Look what I made! And now I will play with it and make it listen to me till it is old enough to realize that life sucks, and curses me for it”

This whole idea seems surreal to me. That of having children of course. Do you do it because you want to hold on to the illusion of longevity through the propagation of your genetic material from one era to the next? If yes, then don’t be so stupid. When you die, you die. Finito. Nobody lives in or through anyone else. Or perhaps it’s a displaced rage that makes you have kids? Nobody asked you. Your parents just went ahead and had you. You didn’t choose to be born, and didn’t have control over your own life so you want to redeem yourself by exercising choice with respect to another? “So what if I couldn’t have that? At least I can have this!”

Ah the fools! You can’t exercise revenge backwards in time! And for the first few years, you are likely to suffer more! If you’re pissed about what was done to you, put an end to it!

Seriously though, this post is for those who complain about life being tough, insufferable, unbearable, painful, point less and all those things not normally associated with pleasure. How, I repeat, HOW can those people choose to have kids? Is it not pure sadism at work? You crib crib crib about something and then voluntary inflict that upon another creature! Shame on you! Shame on all of you!

When confronted with such people I just feel like smacking them across their face really. If you desire to have children, at least pretend like you love life and would like to give this gift of life to a million other people! But please-oh-please don't say that life sucks, and then force more people to have a taste of it! Why would you do that?!

There is a bit of masochism also at play I suspect. I am here reminded of that oh-so-complete book of verses- The Rubaiyat and of that lovely one where they (i.e. Khayyam and Fitzgerald) speak of the checkerboard of nights and days on which we are but pieces of the game He plays.

True. True as my heartbeat. But those who have children, I ask you, are you not caught in a sado-masochistic game with the He in question? Do you not, by virtue of having children voluntarily, toss these pawns in his lap and say “Play on, so I can do the damage and then keep blaming you”?

God a.k.a Nature a.k.a The Unpredictability of Existence might have given you the ability to procreate. But you have the choice not to. Its great that you have this skill. Really. Congratulations etc. But surely you should be more prudent before you go about acting on it?

Just yesterday, someone who recently had twins had come over. They’re very cute and playful and fun to watch etc. but what struck me was the 4376528764 times that their mother pointed out what a handful they were. I mean, what did you expect? That they would pop right out and that’s it? The real work begins later on my dear, and even I know that! There was a strange sense that I got from the mother. That horrible horrible feeling of….regret. Absolutely terrifying that. Makes a shiver run down my spine to think that a parent would feel that way. My mind automatically gasps and whispers, “My God, what have you done?”

You know why I think having children should be criminalized? Because it is kind of akin to murder. Don’t feel all proud and glorious about having created life. What you have inadvertently done is in fact create death, pain, loss, suffering. Especially in the world as it is today. Complete with melting ice, terrorism and rising prices.

What makes it even more sordid is, that it is the supposedly 'wiser' adults who are having these children. If over 20 years of existence hasn’t been enough to make you realize that the world isn’t fit to live in, and that the human race is worse than pond scum, much MUCH worse, then I question the quality of the very genes that you are transmitting to the next generation and plead with you to think twice.

And then some fifty three thousand eight hundred and forty six more times after that.

La madre amable :-P

Comfort: It would really make me so happy if you have kids

Holy Cow: I see!

Comfort: Because I know you will make a wonderful mother

Holy Cow: Yeah. Maybe, by not giving birth to the kids, I am already being a good mother by shielding them from the suffering called existence.

No promises broken, no justice denied; He never promised us anything, so we can't say that He Lied

"I find this whole idea of having been "wronged" in some way (with respect to life) quite futile, and that is the very idea that this whole talk of fairness vs. unfairness (of life) brings with it. Your life has not been given to you to be peachy. No one is obligated to make you happy. Creation is a chance occurence. That's it. It's like saying "It's not fair that the sky is blue" . The sky doesn't give a damn and doesn't have any obligation to. So the question of "justice not being done" doesn't arise."

This was some Gyaan (words of wisdom) that the Holy Cow baanto-ed (distributed) to a friend recently.

She does that a lot.

That too, free of charge.

An omen

There are storms every day these days. They come at night usually. Almost always at night. And it comes suddenly, with a gust of wind carrying dust, as if to cover everything that crosses its path with it. Trees, even large ones that are supposed to be strong, sway unsteadily from side to side as if losing control. Windows and doors begin doing a dangerous dance, opening and closing shut with a crash. The ones that have already been closed by the wise ones who anticipated the forthcoming storm and thought of securing themselves from it, are made more aware of the presence they tried to keep out, by the gentle but firm beating of the wind against the glass. The latter trembles and it's vibrations sound like they are saying "How long will you hide? I will keep coming for you, again and again. And some day I will get you."

It is unnerving to be caught in moments like this. This city has not seen storms of this nature at this time of year, and with such frequency in as long as the mind can remember. It is new. It is a sign of things changing. The world is changing.

It is unnerving. But it is not unpleasant.

It feels like an indication of some kind. A communication coming our way.

Perhaps the end of the human race is near.

When three discussed the 'bee' and the 'thee'

This post led to some exchanges between Holy Cow and "Thee", and Holy Cow and Scoop.

Allow me to share some points of consideration.

'Thee', being an aficionado of elegance, and somewhat of a connoisseur of poetry and prose, thought that the last line was too long. It was suggested to change it

from

"Once upon a Rose
There sat a little bee
Then it flew away

And that ended their story"

to

"Once upon a Rose
There sat a little bee
Then it flew away,

Thus ending their story"

While agreeing that it was more elegant in its rhyme than the original one, I preferred the first one.

Let me tell you why.

One reason I liked the poem, was because of its similarity to Khayyam/Fitzgerald's verse from the Rubaiyat. The verse in question is

"There was a door to which I found no key

There was a veil past which I could not see

A little talk a while of thee and me there was

And then, no more of me and thee"

I love this verse. It is so simple in all its existential truth and glory. It doesn't connote a causality of there being no more of "Me and thee" because either one of them left the other.

Similarly, the old version of the poem doesn't suggest causality while the newer version does. It suggests that the reason for the story's end was the departure of the bee.

Scoop read the post, and said she liked it a lot. I told her what had ensued between 'Thee' and me and she tended to like the newer version more. Her reason? She said she understood what I meant but she liked the sadness in the newer version.

Let it now be stated clearly that the Holy Cow also likes the newer version in its own right, when considered independently.

However, changing the old to the new would necessitate dissociating it from the Rubaiyat, or my interpretation of that verse from the Rubaiyat, which I did not wish to do at any cost.

P.S. You know what I could accept though?

"Once upon a Rose

There sat a little bee

Then it flew away

Thus ended their story"

Okay. I will add this bit as an edit to the previous post.


P.P.S -

Scoop- "My thee" is .....?
Holy Cow- Yeah. Since Khayyam says, "Me and thee"
Scoop- I figured
Holy Cow- Even though I absolutely hated using the possessive adjective "My" for "Thee"
Scoop- I know. I am actually quite surprised you said "My". That's the first thing I noticed!

Holy Cow has problems with the use of possessive indicators of any kind with relationships of choice. Use of words like "He is mine" or "She is mine" don't go down well with the Holy Cow. She doesn't think anyone is anyone's.

John Lennon forgot one thing...

"Imagine no relationships"

Imagine if every person was actually an island.



One evening, walking along the ordinary roads of a typical colony in New Delhi, regressed enough to be craving chocolate and chips, TQ said to me, "You know that feeling? Of 'aloneness' even while in an experience of love?



Half way through this sentence, I smiled and looked at her with a glance that made her realise she needn't have asked me that question.



So throwing her arm around me with a little laugh, she said, "I knew you would understand exactly what I mean"


Ultimately, everyone is alone. You can love and you can give and you should have a bloody fantastic time doing that, but you shouldn't expect anything in return. Nada.

Is it pessimistic?



:-) Not at all ! Its liberating to arrive at this realisation. Because it does away with expectations. Expectations ruin you. They come with relationships, and relationships tend to be a bit screwed up anyway. Why? Because they give an illusion of non-aloneness.



You might say that it's all great talk, but that's not how relationships work.



Of course. Why do you think I lament over relationships? (Insert dramatic 1950's anguished Hindi film heroine pose here)



But it's the truth. All you can really derive joy out of is the way you feel. It's the only reliable thing.



Seekh Zaheen ke dil se jalna, kahe ko har shamma pe jalna?

Apni aag mein khud jal jaaye, tu aisa parwana ban ja



Yeah, its very Advaita Vedantic. Those guys definitely knew what they were talking about.


The 'truth' segment in the sidebar of this blog sings a song.



The lines that are absent are



Humsafar koi gar mile bhi kahin

Dono chalte rahe tanha tanha


Cheers to that comrades!

We are all smelly fish, and time is a winged thing...

...and like a pelican hunting for fish, it swoops down upon us and sweeps us off

Before we know what happened, we land up in unknown territory

....though we are like fish that taste bad. So the pelican doesn't just swallow us up. But instead spits us out over and over again!

Angrez(i) ki Atmaprashansa*

A warning to those who do not understand Hindi/Urdu. I will try my level best, but may still fail to prevent utter confusion in your heads. But do read on. Who knows...?

Right. What was I saying? Oh yes. Language is a funny thing. Tells you a lot about the people who use it actually. In subtle ways. In fact, a lot of theorists have brought up the issue of thinking in a particular language.

The illustration I will use in the present instance, is that of the word "Love" in English, and its counterpart in Hindi/Urdu - "Pyaar/Prem/Mohabbat".

Now the English verb is one that is used with both the animate as well as the inanimate. For example, one says "I love Rahul" or "I love Reshma" as easily as one says "I love this song" or "I love that book". No doubt, songs and books are very love inducing things.

But the same word in Hindi or Urdu is not used with inanimate objects. That is, one does not say "Main us gaane se pyaar karti hoon" (I love that song) or "Mujhe us kitaab se mohabbat hai" (I love that book). It makes me feel that the feeling and meaning associated with loving is reserved for the animate category.

Wait. I am going somewhere with this! Inanimate things are created by human beings. That is, they are made by us. While the angrez (by which I mean people using the English language, but, yes, it also means "The English"as a category of people- the traditional users of the English language) find it quite easy to love something they have made, we (in the part of the world where Hindi and Urdu roll off the tongue more easily) are unable to love something that we have made, and keep this most exalted of feelings strictly for the things we cannot take credit for having created.

Now, linking up with this, what do we have? As in the earlier post, which questions the act of worshipping something that you have created, can we also call to question the act of loving something you have created? **

Is there an assumption of a certain narcissism inherent in the English language perhaps? Or in the users of the same? While there is an assumption of humility in Hindi or Urdu, where the emotion of love can be felt only where there is no scope of pride entering the picture?

In parts of the world where worship and love may be equally sacred, in similar ways, pyaar is really the same as prayer isn't it?

* Atmaprashansa= Self Praise

** Did the statement "Aha! But what about children? We create them! And we love them!" come to your mind? Well, I liked Kahlil Gibran's The Prophet in which he clearly states - "Children come through you, not from you". In any case, I believe having children is quite narcissistic anyway. I mean, you create something because you want something to love, and then you love it because you have created it.

The narcissism of man

TQ: actually my drift was more like how we ascribe divinity to calcium formations

Holy Cow: ? my religiously, and divinely handicapped mind cannot understand what you just said ! :-?

TQ: there are no idols in vaishno devi.. just 3 stalactites in the cave called 'pindis'
so i was just talking about how there is so much faith and religiosity etc attached to calcium formations

Holy Cow: ah okay

TQ: well.. if it can be clay idols, it can be anything
anyway..

Holy Cow: of course
in fact
the tites and mites are actually better!

TQ: how?

Holy Cow: at least they are not made by man.
I am reminded of some surah of the Quran

which says something to the effect of
ye pray to that which ye hath created*

I like that a lot :)

TQ: oh nice :)

*I do feel like I have read these very words, but there may be a memory lapse here causing a distortion in language. What it says is - Those unto whom they cry beside Allah, created naught, but are themselves created (Surah XVI, 20- Translation by Mohammed Marmaduke Pickthall)

But I like mine! Since it represents a very arrogant picture of man worshipping something that he himself has made, without referring to the supreme being by a particular name.

Circularity

TQ: look at what we are doing.. we seem to have rather sorry lives.. we rely on such random virtual entertainment to pull us through!

Holy Cow: what dya mean!

TQ: ah.. what the hell! i love it!

Holy Cow: it's people who have sorry lives who need big entertainment!
it's the good people who are content with small things!
(because they can't get the big ones ;-) )

TQ: how circularly beautiful

Am I here?

Chat/Internet is acting weird and bipolar these days. This has caused me to ask- "Am I here?"- a shocking number of times in a day. To illustrate, a recent conversation with TQ

Holy Cow: Hello? Am I here?!
(Silence)
Holy Cow: I need you so I can find myself!
TQ: Yes. I am right here :)

Such sweet words! Music to my ears! Oh! And the joy on hearing that I was in fact present at the scene of the chat and I did in fact exist.

This really takes Winnicott's theory of being able to be only when you find yourself reflected back through the other, to another level now doesn't it!

And more questions...(and corrections)

Before the more, there was this.

Right. Back to the more. Yesterday, Holy Cow was sitting at a temple with TQ, who told me an interesting story about the Jagannath Temple at Puri. No one is allowed to remain inside the temple, that is, inside the main temple room where the idol is, overnight. They say that those who stay near the Lord overnight either go blind, or die.

Holy Cow was immediately interested. "I want to try"-"Have there been any incidents?"-"Whats the rationale behind it?"

TQ- Well, they say that in the night, God comes forward in his genuine, raw, un-idolised, true form, and its brightness is such that one goes blind because of the intensity of the light that shines off him, or dies because of exposure to the same. And yes, there have been incidents of this kind.

Holy Cow was very excited about this. She then remembered that in the Gita, Lord Krishna comes before Arjun in his natural, ujjwal (glowing), pure form- and a large section of that chapter of the text describes the brightness, the glory, the enormity of his real form- and nothing seems to happen to him!

TQ then pointed out that in the Gita, God does it out of his own volition. That is, he wants to present himself to Arjun. But in the case of the temple blindness and death, we are just hanging around when we're not supposed to, and God doesn't really want to show himself to us. We just happen to be around when it happens automatically.

This raises the following questions- If the incident of the temple is true, then the Gita is basically, untrue. If the Gita is true, then this temple incident can't be true. If both are true, then does it mean that God actually has hidden selves and he shows them to us as and when he pleases? I mean, there can't be just one pure form, and one regular one. Because we have counted three already -

1. The usual one. Idolised and worshipped.

2. Pure form no. 1, which is the one that Krishna presents himself as before Arjun. This is the one that he wants to reveal.

3. Pure form no. 2, which is the last thing that one sees before turning blind or dying inside the temple. This is the one he doesn't really want to reveal.

Does the second point suggest that Krishna was actually being untruthful when he revealed his supposedly true form to Arjuna (because of there being a third secret form that no one is allowed to see) ?

Does the last point just tell us that he is like many of us? That he too, can only be himself in solitude?

PS- Well, the Gita was revisited and checked and turns out that the Lord does present Arjuna with divine sight before revealing his true form.
However, he says to Arjuna "with these present eyes you will not be able to see me" (Chapter 11, Verse 8)
This changes things a little.

If he meant that Arjuna will not be able to see the changed form with his present eyes, then the case of the temple blindness is still not possible because without divine sight we wouldn't be able to see lord Jagannath in his true form in the first place, so the question of dying or going blind doesn't arise.

If however, he meant that Arjuna's present eyes will not be able to handle the luminosity that his true form will reflect and needs divine eyes as a shield, then the Gita and the Jagannath temple incident are in tandem, and I stand corrected.

To complicate matters further, I have been told by TQ that the blindness/death doesn't even happen all the time. It happens only once a year, when the idol is bathed. I do not know what to make of this detail.

The Gita- where others find answers, some dig up questions.

Someone known to the Holy Cow raised an interesting question a while ago.

He asked, "If the soul never dies, is it also never born? Is the number of souls constant, or ever increasing? Decrease is not a possibility since once born, it is immortal"

"Good question", said the Holy Cow, and went on, "I don't think either birth or death can be used literally while talking about the soul. It never dies, but changes form, and each new form is like a new birth.
Except that it isn't really, and you keep carrying forth your baggage from one to the next (Ref: Notion of Karma)

Also, decrease should also be a possibility, or else where does moksha fit in? I mean, the lucky ones get freedom from this chakravyuh (unending cycle from which there is no way out) right?

If immortality (which involves cycles of birth and death) is a good thing, then is moksha, freedom from this unending cycle, undesirable?"

If moksha is desirable, then it would be better for the soul to just die and not be transformed over and over again, would it not?

A philosophical text, a psychoanalyst, and a birthday party.

The Mahabharata, is a fantastic story- with characters that aren't black or white but in varying shades of grey. Covering a rather vast spectrum of issues, it has information you can actually use in day to day life.

My first exposure, and one that left a pretty strong impression on me, of the Mahabharata was the television series that Doordarshan used to show every Sunday morning. I used to watch it regularly. I was about 8-10 years of age.

The Bhagavad Gita is a part of the Mahabharata and before I read the entire text recently, I had memorised the following lines as a little girl. (Thanks to the TV show. This was the opening track)

Yada yada hi dharmasya, glanirva bhavati bharata
Abhyuthanam adharmasya, tadaatmaanam srijami aham,
Paritranaya sadhunam, vinashayaschadushkritam,
Dharma sansthapan aarthay, sambhavaami yuge yuge.

I will not attempt a literal translation. The meaning is basically that since time immemorial, whenever man has gone astray from the path of dharma, the prescribed way of life, whenever evil has overpowered good, the Lord himself has assumed human form and descended to earth, to destroy evil, reinstate dharma and righteousness.

Given the abovementioned, the question that came to my mind was this – if the birth of Lord upon the earth took place in a time of chaos and destruction, of corruption and violence, of the stripping of innocence and the slipping of moral values, then what exactly are we celebrating with Janamashtami, Ram Navami ?(Other religions too, but I am holding Vishnu responsible because it was one of his avatars - reincarnations- who allegedly said the abovementioned)

Do we celebrate because, finally, we have a saviour among us? Someone who will deliver us from the hell we have created for ourselves? Does the celebration mark the end of a long period of darkness? Is the exultation with joy masking a sigh of relief?

What I am basically trying to get at is the difference between the period before the birth of a child, and the birth of the Lord. Both are celebrated, no doubt. Both for largely selfish reasons (Of course, I accept all the flak I may face for saying that the decision to have a child is a purely selfish one. But, well that's that).

What’s the difference then?

The difference that strikes me, is that while the period before the birth of a child need not be a chaotic and dismal one, that before the birth of the Lord, in a human from (which is the only acceptable form for most people, which itself warrants a whole other discussion) necessarily does. That is, he wouldn't even be here if it weren't for our misdeeds etc. The fact that he is around should be accepted as proof that things are not quite as peachy and perfect as they ought to be.

This brings me to the next element. Donald Winnicott. (Before I go further, I must state that my knowledge of Winnicott’s theories and formulations is rather rudimentary. However, I couldn't’t wait for my knowledge to expand before I put these thoughts down. These thoughts will probably expand as and when my knowledge does).

So, Winnicott. For those unfamiliar with him, Donald Winnicott is a Psychodynamic (A tradition that branched off from classical Psychoanalysis) thinker and clinician. He has worked extensively with children, and his writings have allowed us to have a closer understanding of the inner world of a child.

One of his ideas that have stayed with me is that of the child or infant creating its mother- At the risk of oversimplification, it means that for healthy development and identity formation the mother has to be available at just the right time when the child thinks of her or wants her; allowing the child to feel that he/she has conjured her up magically; that she is by him/her and for him/her.

I think mankind carries within itself the Winnicottian child. Just as the child brings the parent, or more specifically the mother into existence, just as the child creates the mother, mankind also creates its God. The child creating the parent is a healthy process, as is mankind creating God I guess. But the sad part is that God is created out of a need more than a wish.

The child’s aggression, creativity and play, are manifested in the manner in which the child tests his environment, his parents, to check if they can withstand his outbursts. If they can, then all is well and the child moves on, grows. Analogously, the chaos and tumult which characterizes the period before the birth of God, could be equated with the child-adolescent like testing of the parent (God is, after all, our supreme mother and father). The child throws its toys about, makes a mess and the mother smiles patiently and lovingly, teaches the child how to restore order. The child is content that his mother can handle him, that he is in good hands, and life is good again. It is essentially the same thing with God.

We need to know that he is around, we need to assure ourselves that he can withstand us. So, to refine the earlier distinction between the birth of the child and the birth of God. In the former case, we give birth to our offspring. In the latter, we give birth to our parent.

All this is not to suggest that one must not celebrate the birth of God the way one does. Who could argue that the repeated re assurances, the repeated rescues the Lord (allegedly) makes for our sake, when we need it the most, is anything but a reason to rejoice?

But the question is, how many such rescues will have to be made, how many re assurances given before we are assured? Perhaps we need to give him a break. Perhaps we need to stop testing him. After all, a mother also loses her cool with her child sometimes. How much do we really want to try his patience?

Its time to stop assuming someone will come and be our saviour. Only then can we stop making a bloody mess of our lives and of this planet. As it is, it would be better if we took care of ourselves. We wouldn't need the poor fellow to leave his own worries behind and come to our rescue.