Once in a while, there comes along a Fwd that is more than just trash.

Someone forwarded me a long list of crazy "things-to-do-when-you-are-bored". Some are more like general tips on good living. I liked. I also appreciate the thought that went into coming up with them in the first place. Don't know who did though. Whoever! If you are reading this, let it be known that a good time was had because of you and that your mind has been of good use to someone else. Congratulations for that!

Now, not only were some of them awfully American and totally not applicable to India or Indians, some were actually quite offensive to animals (For e.g. there was one that suggested "throwing your cat off the roof to see if it lands on all four feet" or "shave your cat") and those have been removed from the list below.

So yes, read and enjoy and take down these Vishesh Tippanis.

I have taken the liberty of minor changes to some and have of course, given my own experiences with the VTs or thoughts on the same.

Presenting: What-to-do-when-you-are-bored-or-what-to-refer-to-when-you-need- a-little-direction-in-life

• Sharpen your teeth
  


• Play Houdini (I would love to. Under supervision and with the paramedics waiting of course. Houdini has always enraptured my mind)
  

• Clean and polish your belly button
  

• Water your dog...see if he grows (Okay, I didnt think this was offensive)
  


• Wash a tree (Gladly. Have washed a plant before)
  


• Knight yourself (Done that in my mind a few times)
  


• Give your cat a mohawk (Don't have one. But I imagine this might be fun if the cat doesnt scratch your eyes right out while you are in the process of styling its hair)
  


• Purr (Done this before. It is thoroughly enjoyable)
  


• Whine (Who doesn't?)
  


• Listen to a painting
  


• Play with matches (Done this. I wish matchsticks were longer. Maybe I should add, "Invent long matchsticks" to this list. Consider it added)
  


• Read Homer in the original Greek
  

• Change your mind

• Change it back


• Learn Greek (Alrighty!)
  


• Watch the sun...see if it moves (Check. Buy special glasses first)
  


• Stand on your head (I have a weird head problem which makes my head hurt if I am upside down for long. So this might not be fun for me. But others are most welcome to try)
  

• Stand on someone else's head (Believe it or not, have done this before. Again, enjoyable but kinda difficult to retain balance. Hold a wall while at it, is my suggestion)
  


• Build a pyramid (Next: climb it)
  

• See how long you can stay awake (This is only possible if I do many of the other things on the list)
  


• See how long you can sleep
  


• Speak with a forked tongue (I couldn;t really imagine this, but I think this has potential for fun-ness)
  

• Have a proton fight ( *Grin. Reminded of Calvin and Hobbes)
  


• Quiver (Ooh, what fun!)
  


• Learn to type...with your toes (This is seriously on the agenda)
  


• Be someone special (Err...blah)
  


• Go back to square one (I seem to find myself here all the time, causing me to wonder whether there ever is anything beyond it)
  


• Memorize a series of random numbers (I bet this is invented by Ebbinghaus' grandson)

• Learn Sanskrit (Sob sob. I shall. I promise! I even bought myself a "Teach yourself Sanskrit" book two years ago. Aham Gacchami)
  


• Exist...existentially, of course (Favourite thing to do. Or something I always aspire to do)
  


• Take a picture (Done. Sigh etc. Wish I could do it more often)
  


• Sandpaper a mushroom (He he. I don't like mushrooms. So this sounds promising as a potential outlet for latent aggression)
  


• Put it back (Mutters to self)
  


• Run for Pope (First, run after. Second, run over. And then run for- :-P)
  


• Count to a million...fast (See, this seems do-able. But doesn't excite me as such. Why I left it on? Who knows?)
  


• Make a schematic drawing...of a rock (I am sure I have done this in the past)
  

• Commit seppuku...with a paper knife (I recently bought a blunt switchblade that has cost my friends some of their sanity as I keep going on about what I can do with it and where I can use it. This may be the beginning and the end)
  


• Think shallow thoughts (Haven't I shared my profound insight about how I think shallow is the real deep? That needs an entire post altogether)
  


• Sleep on a bed of nails (Yes. I have always been inspired by Bhishma)
  


• Boil ice cream (This made me make a face similar to --> :-^ but worth doing once)
  


• DON'T toss and turn (I like this. It proves that the thinker-upper of these things to do really wanted to prevent this uncomfortable behaviour that people engage in when bored)
  


• Run around in squares (Would it still be called running "around" if one does it in squares?)
  


• Think of quadruple entendres (Hmmmm....*scratches chin thoughtfully)
  


• Speak in acronyms
  


• Have your pillow X-rayed (Err...okay but only if you promise I won't be arrested for the 3 kgs of Cocaine they will find there)
  


• Drink straight shots...of water (I am a water fan. Drink about 16 ltrs a day. Haven't tried this ever. Have had shots of orange juice though. And had Fanta with a spoon. Both were enjoyable activities)
  


• Calmly have a nervous breakdown (Love this one. I am sure I have done this)
  


• Give your goldfish a perm (I don't have a goldfish. But again, sounds like a plan!)
  


• Exorcise a ghost ( *grin)
  


• Be bluem (Done that)
  


• Be red (Never felt red)
  


• But don't be orange (Dont think I will be)
  


• Paint stripes on a lake (On the agenda for sure. First thought that came to mind- Dal Lake. Second thought- stripes wont go with the triangular mountains surounding it)
  


• Sleep in freefall (I will probably be too busy dying)
  


• Test thin ice...with a pogo stick ( :-) )
  


• Do a good job (I didn't know if this means, with the above recommendation or in general. I like it if it means the former)
  


• Crawl (Done this. Fun.)
  


• Watch a watch until it stops (Real 'time killer')
  


• Flash your goldfish (Oh the poor thing! But I laughed when I read it so left it on)
  


• Paint (Done that. Even with fingers. Painted a star on a friend's wall once, and she said it looked like it had flown in and slammed against the wall and gone "Splat!". I took as a compliment. My star had a personality)
  


• Smile ( :-) )
  


• Paint a smile (I hope they mean draw and not paint paint)
  

• Kick a fire hydrant
  


• Pretend you're blind


• Apologize to it (This was sweet)
  


• Plant a shoe


• Sweat (Yes. You will not be out of line to say "Why the hell?!. But think about it. It may have something that you are missing)
  


• Give a Rorschach test to your gerbil ( *grin)
  


• Turn (This I like because I think it is random-est of them all)
  


• Take your sofa for a walk (I imagine doing this. Without a leash though)
  


• Write a letter to Plato ( Thumbs up)
  


• Mail it (Shall I send it by registered post where he has to sign for it?)
  


• Play the piano...with mittens on (I have always wanted to. Play the piano that is)
  


• Contemplate a cockroach (Again, surprisingly I have done this)
  


• Get a dog to chase your car (I didn't like this one)
  


• Let him catch it (Until I read this)
  


• Form a political party (A friend told me to once, in all seriousness. At the time, all I could come up with was the "All India Non Religious Party of Liberal Humanism")


• Climb a sidewalk (To give a bhaashan - speech)
  


• Have a political party


• Sharpen a carrot (This I thought was very innovative)
  


• Interrogate a gerbil (Now, one would think the inventor had it in for gerbils in a big way)
  


• Annoy yourself (Don't think I can. But I can kill several hours trying to!)
  


• Get mad at yourself (Umm...)
  


• Stop speaking to yourself (NO!!!)
  


• Be a side effect (Love this one!)
  


• Be someone simple (I would be someone complexly simple or simply complex)
  


• Scheme
  


• Sit (Done this)
  


• Stay (Starting to feel like a dog being trained)
  


• Roll over (Hey! There better be a treat at the end of all this!)
  


• Wriggle (Done this)
  


• Play dead (Done this)
  


• Donate your brother's body to science ( * Evil Grin. Can I be the scientist too?)
  


• Find a witch (Ooh, don't forget to pick her brains clean and take notes. Detailed!)
  


• Regress (Done this)
  


• Sleepwalk without sleeping (Done this, I think)
  


• Jump back (Done this. Also, this is definitely more fun than jumping forward)
  


• Play to lose (Done this. Usually while arm-wrestling with kids)
  


• Read a tomato (What fun! I will snack on a cut up book while doing so)
  


• Sharpen your sleeping skills (Have been, in recent times)
  


• Interview a cloud (Big thumbs up)
  


• Put out a fire
  


• If you can't find a fire, make one (This is more fun than the putting out part)
  


• Crumple (This is immensely satisfying)
  


• Translate Shakespeare into English (I like the sentiment here)
  


• Cheer up a potato (Ah! This sounds like a great plan and is worthy of inclusion in the list twice by virtue of being a pass time, as well as a life's little instruction type thing because of its prosocial hues)
  


• Do aerobic exercises...in your head (Done this)
  


• Build a house with ice cubes (This also reminds me of Calvin and Hobbes)
  


• Change your name...daily (Good. I have always wondered how parents can zero in on one name for their kids)
  


• Wonder (Do this. A lot)
  


• Be a square root (Hmm....of?)
  


• Ask stupid questions (As above?)
  


• Spew
  


• Be a monk...for a day (Yes. Definitely worth engaging in)
  

• Staple (I like stapling)
  


• Run away (Oh, what wouldn't I give to..)
  


• Intimidate a piece of chalk ( :-) )
  


• Abuse the plumbing (Done this)
  


• Create random equations
  


• Tell your feet a joke (I am not a good joke teller. But I will ask my feet to tell me one)
  


• Throw a tomato into a fan (Can you imagine the amount of fun this could be?!)
  


• Pretend you're a dog (Have done so. Several times. In fact, have done so in this post itself by now)
  


• Dial-a-prayer and argue with it (Gladly!)
  


• Relive fond memories (I Do)
  


• Gargle (I Do)
  


• Count your teeth with your tongue (Have started, but lose track half way. Must complete)
  


• Decay (I Am)
  


• Build a house out of toothpicks
  


• Howl (Do. Silently)
  


• Wear a lampshade on your head (I can see myself doing this, having perfected the art of wearing a tea-cosy on my head when I was a child)
  


• Memorize the dictionary (Aspire to. Dictionary of several languages)
  


• Make yourself a pair of wings (I would use chiffon dupattas)
  


• Be immobile (Done this)
  


• Dance 'til you drop (Done this)
  


• Moo ( :-P Done this)
  


• Bounce a potato (Can try!)
  


• Out maneuver your shadow (I mean, what a brilliant idea! Really, hats off to the thinker-upper again! Have tried this btw! Great great fun!)
  


• Climb the walls (Have half done this)
  

• Appreciate everything (Cant)
  


• Challenge yourself to a duel (Have imagined this several times. In a black vs. white body-suit)
  


• Let the best man win (Woman, you mean)
  


• Hold an ice cube as long as possible (Have done this. It stings, but it's fun)
  


• Adopt strange mannerisms (Already have)
  


• Blow up a balloon until it pops (I have surprisingly poor lung capacity for blowing up balloons. Have blown bubbles till they pop though. Even with non stick chewing gum)
  


• Sing soft and sweet and clear (Done this)
  


• Sing loud and sour and gravely (This is what it sounds like to others when I am actually trying to do previous one)
  

• Open everything (I am a close-r, really)
  


• Balance a pencil on your nose (Tried. Failed)
  


• Grind your teeth (Done this)
  


• Chew ice (Do this a lot)
  


• Gesture (Do this a lot as well)
  


• Make a pass at your blender (Ooh, *wink)
  


• Make up words that start with X (Xorry! I Xant!)
  


• Sing a duet (Sung)
  


• Balance a pillow on your head (Done)
  


• Hold your breath (Done)
  


• Faint (I thought this was a great idea for a thing-to-do-when-bored)


• Stretch (Done)
  


• Learn to speak Farsi (Damn! This thing is a mind reader as far as me and languages are concerned. I want to learn Farsi. Mostly for Khusro)
  


• Swear in Russian ( Zavali yebalo! I googled it and found it here.)
  


• Use an eraser until it goes away (How come I never thought of this myself!?)
  


• Interview your feet (The first question will be - Can you tell me a joke?)
  


• Make a list of your favorite fungi (You know which fungi I dont like? Mushrooms!)
  


• Sell formaldehyde (Thumbs Up. Reminded of Fight Club)
  


• Make napalm (Thumbs Up. Again, as above)
  


• Begin (Begun)
  


• Hold your earlobes (Done)
  


• Fold your earlobes (Done. This is fun)
  


• Flap (The earlobes? Or the wings I made earlier?)
  


• Squawk (Dont think I can pull this one off)
  


• Read tea leaves (Sorry, I can't drink a book while)
  


• Analyze the Koran (Started. Will do one day. Also the Bhagavad Gita. Actually my brainstorm was to do a comparison/similarity finding type thing. Got it while brushing my teeth one morning many years ago)
  


• Be Buddha (Can do. I wouldn't abandon my family though. Would be wise enough to not have kids either, rather than having them and calling them names)
  


• Award yourself a Nobel Peace Prize (Ah! Glory!)
  


• Think lewd thoughts about yourself (Umm...next !)
  


• Peel grapes (Done)
  


• Make paper from the skins (What an idea!)
  


• Send chills down your spine (Done this. It's a fairly regular feature of my existence)
  


• Blow bubbles (Done. Who doesn't enjoy this?)
  


• Bloat (Sigh. Feel like I am most of the time)
  


• Get run over by a train of thought (Done that)
  


• Make up famous sayings
  


• Bite your pinkie (Done this)
  


• Design a better toilet seat
  


• Shred a newspaper (Fun. I like destroying stuff I think. But I would recycle the paper after shredding)
  


• Scratch (my back and I'll scratch yours)
  


• Have a headache (Do. Does anyone want one?)
  


• Sniff (Done that. Fun only if met with tender and soothing words)
  


• Hatch an egg (I have seen a 6 year old do this. It was hilarious to watch. He was playing a game with me where I had to guess what he was)
  


• Spill (Oops)
  


• Act profound (Did I not just say shallow is the new deep? That's profound)
  


• Stare (Done that. Not at people)
  


• Truncate (Would love to)
  


• Put your feet behind your head (Have tried. Got one of them there)
  


• Hold your hand (Done this. It's quite nice. Jodi tor dak shune keu na ashe tobe ekla cholo re)
  


• Watch the minute hand move (But I already watched my watch till it stopped)
  


• Pretend you're a telephone
  


• Ring
  


• Radiate


• Skip (Done that. Should start again in fact.)
  


• Play hopscotch...with real scotch ( * Grin)
  


• Clock the velocity of your REMs (Es posible?)
  


• Put your shoes on the opposite feet (Have. :-P )
  


• Cross your toes (Do)
  


• Roll your tongue (Over :-) ? )
  


• Crystallize
  


• Hide (Do)
  


• Declare war (Ah. Finally I can join El Querido when he says "Hamle ke liye tayyar!"
  


• Seduce your stick shift (err.... the thinker-upper started thinking too much with his own it would seem)
  


• Wink ( ;-) )
  


• Memorize the periodic table (Sigh. Again?)
  


• Mummify (Ooh!)
  


• Collect electrons (There's Calvin and Hobbes again. I swear, they are an overpowering influence in my life)
  


• Repeat (There's Calvin and Hobbes again. I swear, they are an overpowering influence in my life)


• Fade (I shall, one day)
  


• Listen for non-satanic messages (i.e. "Drink milk")
  


• Dial-a-Prayer and tell them they're wrong (Gladly!)
  


• Go into a bar and ask for a Molotov Cocktail ( B-))
  


• Learn everything there is to know about the Holy Roman Empire (Incidentally, have been watching the TV series lately)
  


• Walk on water...but don't get caught (Shh. Okay)
  


• Confess to a crime...that didn't happen
  


• Be in the wrong place at the right time (for some reason, this sounds more fun than being in the right place at the wrong time)
  

• Plot the overthrow of the Government (Gladly)
  


• Write a book about your previous life (Yes. I have an interesting candidate who fits the bill for my previous life)
  


• Jump up and down...on your alarm clock (For the sleepers, I bet this is something they have mentally done fifty billion times)
  

• Make a quilt out of cocktail napkins
  


• Sterilize your stereo...with Jack Daniel's
  


• Carve yours and your girlfriend's/boyfriend's initials...in a marshmallow (Probably wouldn't do in on a marshmallow. But it's a passable idea for a passtime me thinks)
  


• Defend your neighborhood from roving Mongol hordes
  


• Recite romantic poetry...to your toaster (I thought I was hitting on the blender??)
  
• 
  
• See if you really can build a nuclear device in your own basement (Okay. But I want the IAEA out of it!)
  


• Phone in a death threat on President Kennedy (This was American but worth retaining)
  


• Carry a tune...drop it, see if it breaks
  


• Make a deal with the devil...but keep your fingers crossed


• Give a lecture on the historical significance of cream cheese (I would prefer paan)
  


• Debate politics with a fern
  


• If you lose, stop watering it and try again. (Love this following previous one)
  


• Be a threat to the American way of life ( *grin)
  


• Do research into the cause of World War III
  


• See how small you can scrunch your face (Done this)
  


• Raise professional certified racing turnips (Ah, don't change your passions for glory!)
  


• Give your grandmother a raise and another day of paid vacation (I thought this was cute)
  


• Park your car...with a friend (Done)
  


• Park your car...with a group of friends (Done)
  


• Frame your first statement of bankruptcy (Yes. I have to be ready for when the turnips fail)
  


• Place it on the wall of your office


• Practice the Aztec method of heart removal on your professor
  


• Sneak into a nuclear physics lab and stay the night (Would love to!)
  


• Play with anything that looks interesting (Do)
  


• Try to ignite water (Hmmmm)
  


• Draw Venn diagrams...screw them up (Yeah. They always annoyed me anyway)
  


• State fallacies as fact (like, "peanuts grow on bushes")
  


• See if diamonds really do cut glass (Yes. And in future don't believe everything they tell you!)

• Tenderize your tongue...chew on it for a while (This is so morbid and appeals to me)