Monday 14 July 2008

If you could, what would you criminalize?

Having babies. That’s what.

Its shocking, the extent of narcissism a man will indulge really. I refuse to believe that there is something else that propels human beings to have children, apart from the fact that a. they can and b. this joy ride that they take on their egos, just so they can say “Look what I made! And now I will play with it and make it listen to me till it is old enough to realize that life sucks, and curses me for it”

This whole idea seems surreal to me. That of having children of course. Do you do it because you want to hold on to the illusion of longevity through the propagation of your genetic material from one era to the next? If yes, then don’t be so stupid. When you die, you die. Finito. Nobody lives in or through anyone else. Or perhaps it’s a displaced rage that makes you have kids? Nobody asked you. Your parents just went ahead and had you. You didn’t choose to be born, and didn’t have control over your own life so you want to redeem yourself by exercising choice with respect to another? “So what if I couldn’t have that? At least I can have this!”

Ah the fools! You can’t exercise revenge backwards in time! And for the first few years, you are likely to suffer more! If you’re pissed about what was done to you, put an end to it!

Seriously though, this post is for those who complain about life being tough, insufferable, unbearable, painful, point less and all those things not normally associated with pleasure. How, I repeat, HOW can those people choose to have kids? Is it not pure sadism at work? You crib crib crib about something and then voluntary inflict that upon another creature! Shame on you! Shame on all of you!

When confronted with such people I just feel like smacking them across their face really. If you desire to have children, at least pretend like you love life and would like to give this gift of life to a million other people! But please-oh-please don't say that life sucks, and then force more people to have a taste of it! Why would you do that?!

There is a bit of masochism also at play I suspect. I am here reminded of that oh-so-complete book of verses- The Rubaiyat and of that lovely one where they (i.e. Khayyam and Fitzgerald) speak of the checkerboard of nights and days on which we are but pieces of the game He plays.

True. True as my heartbeat. But those who have children, I ask you, are you not caught in a sado-masochistic game with the He in question? Do you not, by virtue of having children voluntarily, toss these pawns in his lap and say “Play on, so I can do the damage and then keep blaming you”?

God a.k.a Nature a.k.a The Unpredictability of Existence might have given you the ability to procreate. But you have the choice not to. Its great that you have this skill. Really. Congratulations etc. But surely you should be more prudent before you go about acting on it?

Just yesterday, someone who recently had twins had come over. They’re very cute and playful and fun to watch etc. but what struck me was the 4376528764 times that their mother pointed out what a handful they were. I mean, what did you expect? That they would pop right out and that’s it? The real work begins later on my dear, and even I know that! There was a strange sense that I got from the mother. That horrible horrible feeling of….regret. Absolutely terrifying that. Makes a shiver run down my spine to think that a parent would feel that way. My mind automatically gasps and whispers, “My God, what have you done?”

You know why I think having children should be criminalized? Because it is kind of akin to murder. Don’t feel all proud and glorious about having created life. What you have inadvertently done is in fact create death, pain, loss, suffering. Especially in the world as it is today. Complete with melting ice, terrorism and rising prices.

What makes it even more sordid is, that it is the supposedly 'wiser' adults who are having these children. If over 20 years of existence hasn’t been enough to make you realize that the world isn’t fit to live in, and that the human race is worse than pond scum, much MUCH worse, then I question the quality of the very genes that you are transmitting to the next generation and plead with you to think twice.

And then some fifty three thousand eight hundred and forty six more times after that.