Some of the family,including parents, just returned from a ten day vacation in Uttaranchal (Yes, I know they have changed it to Uttarakhand but I think that name is terrible compared to the beautiful and calm sounding Uttaranchal so I shall stick to it). The first thing they say to me as I breeze in from work is "We found the perfect place to get married. We think you should get married in Dehradun"
To say I was anything less than aghast would be an understatement. But I managed to retain composure and said "Oh?"
The story is as follows. Mother and aunt wanted to use the bathroom so they all had to stop on the way down from XYZ to Delhi. They saw this nice looking place and went in. My uncle went in also. Feeling bad about entering a place just to use the conveniences*, he thought he would strike up a conversation with the man at the reception, pretending to be an interested customer.
The place was "Sunrise Banquet Hall" that they rent out for weddings at Rs. 50,000/- (only) and if you get them to do the catering its half the price. It was apparently quite huge, had 13 A/C rooms and in case there were more guests who were close enough to stay over, there were dorms in which beds could be laid out.
Details such as the following were also discussed
1. What the menu would be like. The guy went on to say how you could choose any four starters and any four desserts etc.
2. What would the cost of renting the place include. It would include, apparently, the hall, decorations, 400 chairs, flowers, and also the mishri and rosewater that they sprinkle on the guests when they walk in.
3. At the time of the actual ceremony (he assumed it would be a Hindu one) they would serve 2 cups of coffee to everyone present, at no extra charge. (I think this is poignant, as I have thoroughly enjoyed having coffee while watching my cousin brother's and my close friend's wedding. It wakes you up and you feel like a very important guest at the premiere of a movie)
4. Breakfast, which would be composed of Jalebi, Kachoris etc. would be served to all guests who had the strength, and willingness to stay over night.
Now, I really don't know how long my mother and aunt were gone, but my uncle had even managed to bargain and get the guy to reduce the price! Yes, very enterprising and all.
Naturally, the obvious question, and one that was running parallel-y in my mind, was voiced by that gentleman first.
"Toh sir, shaadi kab ki hai?" (So, when is the wedding)
(Here, I might have struck a pose with arms folded across chest as if to say "Yeah, when is the wedding anyway?"
My uncle: Socha toh hai August September mein kisi time.
I think, for readers who know me not, it would be appropriate to mention here that this post is meant to be funny both in its content, as well as in the contextual setting. The latter of course being that I of course had no plans of getting married in August/ September and this uncle of mine (despite the fact that I do like him a lot) has no idea whatsoever about this particular aspect of my life and existence.
Eventually the ladies emerged, and my uncle left it at "We'll let you know after seeing a few more places"
They tell me all I needed to do was find the groom
*Personally, I don't know why he felt so terrible. I have done this for two whole years at the University Library. That is, going in just to use the bathroom because it was the cleanest one around. I mean, why pretend? Did I feel sheepish the first 4-5 times? Yes, I did a little. By the 5th-6th time, I had gotten over the sheepishness as well.
Apparently, according to TQ, I also started recommending it to others who were distraught at the restroom situation on campus. She says I was only too glad to offer advice - "Oh, you should go to the Central Reference Library! It's quite nice!"
