In times of globalisation...we are glad about Uttar Pradesh

You get everything everywhere and anything anywhere these days. The world is becoming a mixing pot to an extent that places can easily steal the thunder of other places that were famous for certain things.

I mean, my greatest grievance against this is that you no longer have to go to Benaras to have the best Benarasi paan (I went to Benaras, and the paan was nothing compared to the one that Claridges Hotel wale Pandit Ji so lovingly folds up for me), or travel to Tamil Nadu to have the best Sambhar Vada. Wouldn't it be more fun if you had to make that journey and not have everything served at your doorstep (Literally, what with home deliveries being promised by even the tackiest establishments)

In such troubling times, The Holy Cow is most delighted to tell the world that you still get the best samosas and kachoris in U.P.

I mean, Bikanervala or Haldiram's just doesn't come close! The halwais of Uttar Pradesh remain unbeaten in the art of samosa and kachori making.

Someone just brought the above-mentioned delectable delights from Mathura, and I am not exaggerating when I say that I was dying with every bite I took.

It was the most perfect samosa I have ever eaten. A work of art.

The taste, the texture.... sigh! Pure brilliance.

I don't know what they put in them, but I sure am glad about the fact that the state remains the best in the business despite migration, mingling and mutations.

P.S. This is more about ideology really. Holy Cow is very glad that Panditji's paan is so close by.

:-)

John Lennon forgot one thing...

"Imagine no relationships"

Imagine if every person was actually an island.



One evening, walking along the ordinary roads of a typical colony in New Delhi, regressed enough to be craving chocolate and chips, TQ said to me, "You know that feeling? Of 'aloneness' even while in an experience of love?



Half way through this sentence, I smiled and looked at her with a glance that made her realise she needn't have asked me that question.



So throwing her arm around me with a little laugh, she said, "I knew you would understand exactly what I mean"


Ultimately, everyone is alone. You can love and you can give and you should have a bloody fantastic time doing that, but you shouldn't expect anything in return. Nada.

Is it pessimistic?



:-) Not at all ! Its liberating to arrive at this realisation. Because it does away with expectations. Expectations ruin you. They come with relationships, and relationships tend to be a bit screwed up anyway. Why? Because they give an illusion of non-aloneness.



You might say that it's all great talk, but that's not how relationships work.



Of course. Why do you think I lament over relationships? (Insert dramatic 1950's anguished Hindi film heroine pose here)



But it's the truth. All you can really derive joy out of is the way you feel. It's the only reliable thing.



Seekh Zaheen ke dil se jalna, kahe ko har shamma pe jalna?

Apni aag mein khud jal jaaye, tu aisa parwana ban ja



Yeah, its very Advaita Vedantic. Those guys definitely knew what they were talking about.


The 'truth' segment in the sidebar of this blog sings a song.



The lines that are absent are



Humsafar koi gar mile bhi kahin

Dono chalte rahe tanha tanha


Cheers to that comrades!

Complaints- Part Two

UEFA champions league.

Matchday 2 of knockout round, first leg.

AC Milan Vs. Arsenal.

Telecast on Zee Sports again!

All the swear words, used in all possible permutations and combinations, targetting all the family members of the addressee, in all the languages in the world would not suffice to capture my feelings for the television channel controllers at this moment.

Those who do not understand what this is about, see Complaints-Part One

Complaints- Part One

Being a fan of el futbol, one has to deal with the difficulties of not living in a football loving country that shows twenty sports channels covering all the matches being played on a given night.

UEFA Champions league resumed last night- Knock Out round.

And, first thing I did in the morning, was to open the newspaper early in the morning with trepidation, only to find my worst fears confirmed.

The Real Madrid Vs. AS Roma game was being telecast on Zee Sports.

Problem? I don't get Zee Sports!

I get Zee Studio, Zee Cafe, Zee Cinema, Zee TV, and Zee Music but no Zee Sports.

So I was generally complaining to TQ about how pitiable my condition was etc. and had just finished a dramatic monologue along the lines of "Oh its not like I am asking for too much! Zee sports is an Indian channel! Its not like I want to watch Sky Sports 1 and 2! Its not like I am making demands for Real Madrid's 24X7 channel, which btw shows in NEPAL but not in India!..."

When I was interrupted by her question-
"What would you give in order to be able to watch Real Madrid 24X7?"

My answer-

"Uhhh...like 100 bucks a month?"

Her expression was priceless! Given my anguished outburst a few moments ago, she said she expected me to say something like "My right arm"

But the truth is, as much as I love football and Real Madrid, there aren't very many things I would give up my right arm for.

She then asked me to name ONE thing I would give up my right arm for.

I grinned and said there was one thing-
I would give up my right arm if someone would assure me that the world would change to fit my Utopian ideal- no need to work to earn your bread, no attachments, no relationships, lots of passion, liberty, freedom to just 'be' without having to be someone or some thing, world where marriages aren't 'something to be done', a world where having babies isn't 'something to be done'...

You get the drift.

Couldn't come up with any other thing worth my right arm.

P.S. I was complaining to a psychoanalyst and to TQ about how the greatest tragedy was that you had to earn your bread and butter. Because most admissions that tell you interesting things about a person start with "If I didn't have to work to earn my bread and butter..."

Why?! Why do we have to work to earn bread and butter! I don't even like bread that much! Sob Sob

P.P.S- I read the minute by minute commentary on uefa.com. Real Madrid lost yesterday. 2-1. I blame it on my being unable to watch the match. Sports is the only thing I get superstitious about.

We need a speaker's corner in New Delhi.

I think I do a decent job of not sugar coating things most of the time, but much remains to be done.

Anyway, Nawaz Sharif is an inspiration for the moment. He has just stated that Pervez Musharraf has "lost his mental balance".

I like the honesty. Frankly, thats what we need. We need people to call a spade a spade, whether the spade in question is a corrupt theif of a politician, a government that is clearly failing miserably at implementing its policies, or just a friend who needs a reality check.

Impassioned by what Nawaz Sharif has roused in me, I would also like to state that Pratibha Patil being the first woman president of India is hardly something to be proud of! So stop saying it! Stop making it out to be a big deal.

As a woman, when I hear that it makes me angry.

Imagine her being introduced to the world for the first time-

"Ladies and Gentlemen! Introducing! For the first time ever! Leader of over a billion! Supreme Commandant of the Armed Forces of the Republic of India! A shining example of She Shakti! The Hon'ble President of India- Smt. Pratibha Devisingh Patil!"

I can just picture a large crowd, standing up a little more with every word of the presenter, in spine tingling anticipation.

And then when she trots onto the stage, I can also imagine the applause of thousands reduced to a few hesitant claps.

It's like we've been waiting for so long, finally we have a woman in...cough cough...power, and she is the best we could do??

Doesn't speak highly of women to be associated with a little rag, sapped of all energy and dynamism.

Personally, I would like to see some life.

Josh, if you please.

Throw me in jail, but that's how I really feel.



P.S. E-mail sent to my mother, vino, and a journalist friend from Tehelka (I was hoping this third one would pitch the idea to Tarun Tejpal) few days ago:-

"There should be a speaker's corner in delhi, at India Gate or some such central place so that people can go there and hurl abuses at the government, exposing the hollow and termite eaten core of its officials.

it's a shame that fear of humiliation is the main guiding force of action. there should be a way to make use of that. tedi ungli se ghee nikaalne ka prabandh hona chahiye!"

Jai Hind!