Yesterday, I was in conversation with another woman about a lot of things- work related and unrelated. She admitted that sometimes she has thought very seriously that life isn't worth living. Like a reflex action, I waved my hand casually and said "Oh! Wonderful! Once you've reached that conclusion, its an indication that you have managed to size things up pretty accurately".
She laughed and I smiled. She probably thought I joking.
But I was quite serious actually.
To come to an awareness that life sucks is really a grand moment. Once this happens, you can either curse the creator, or you can feel pleased with yourself at having understood his* little game.
You see, he thinks he is rather smart, making and breaking us as and when he pleases, and doing so about a thousand times before he does it for the last and final time. And he waits, he waits for this moment when you realise that the palette of life has miserable colours as well. For since the moment he created you, he tries to lure you back into his realm of nothingness. He feels lonely after all, we established that with Camus' help a while ago. And he probably prides himself on the fact that it comes as a great shock to us, this misery and suffering, one by which we will be beaten and will submit.
But Newsflash dear creator! You're not that smart after all! You think those of us who are happy and manage to smile are oblivious to the truth about existence- that suffering is a part of it? Think again! We are fully aware of your little tricks and will indulge you. We like playing your little game. Because each time we say "Life sucks. But what the hell, its all I have", we think we have delivered a blow to you. In our knowledge and our acceptance of reality, lies your confusion. In our perseverance, your loss.
Every time we throw our heads back and laugh at the rather humorous pointlessness and misery of our life, its wipes that sly grin off your face a little.
The joke, darling, is on YOU after all.
(*if any feminists are reading this, please hold on and don't jump out of your chairs in protest. I will explain, probably in another post, why for me, the creator is best conceptualised in masculine gender. For now, bear with me)
